


Filling In The Blanks As We Go

by DreamingInWonderland



Category: For the People (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Light Flirting, Missing Moments, Mostly Fluff, Slow-ish burn, all characters will appear at some point, but its mostly these two goobers, then overt flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 40,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22292920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingInWonderland/pseuds/DreamingInWonderland
Summary: 'She'd told Sandra that he was the adversary, but that wasn't strictly true. They were friends, constantly teetering on the edge of something else.'A canon compliant-ish look at some missing moments between Jill and Roger before, during and after the series. I say 'ish' because some things may be a little AU from what was on screen. Will cover all episodes.
Relationships: Jill Carlan/Roger Gunn
Comments: 114
Kudos: 18





	1. Sunday Night Texting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before the new crop of AUSA's and FPD's start in the Southern District, Roger and Jill exchange messages while watching a classic baseball game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this originally started life as a little something that would cover the time between episodes 9 and 10 of season 1 and then in the few months between seasons 1 & 2, but then ideas kept coming for bits to go with other episodes and it became this multi-chapter thing, showing various moments across the whole show starting with the night before Allison, Jay, Kate, Leonard, Sandra and Seth started in the Southern District.
> 
> The title for this comes from the song 'Cornelia Street' by Taylor Swift, which was the original inspiration for the original idea.

It had become a tradition. Jill wasn't exactly sure when, but either way it had. Every Sunday, she and Roger would message each other while watching classic baseball games. If she had to guess, she'd say it would have started around about eighteen months ago. Initially, Jill had thought it would be weird, having a friendship with her counterpart across the street, but actually it had been anything but. They had their baseball games, they had their friendly - and sometimes not so friendly - rivalry, there was a thin layer of something else that they ignored – or at least tried to – and that was all it needed to be. She grabbed her phone as it beeped once again.

_'Still can't believe he fumbled that ball'_

Jill smiled as she read the message. Even though the game was five years old, she could still feel the pang of disappointment that she'd experienced while watching it live at Yankee Stadium.

_'I know, it still hurts'_

_'Tina crowed about it for weeks'_

_'We paid it back in kind when the Mets lost the season'_

_'And got the death glare in response'_

She was about to type a response when she noticed the three dots appear, signalling that he was typing.

_'On a non-baseball note, you prepared for tomorrow?'_

_'Of course'_ Jill paused as she recalled some of the prior work of her incoming public defenders. _'And they're going to be better than yours.'_

_'You say that every year. Its yet to happen.'_

_'I choose to believe this year will be different.'_

_'Optimistic.'_

Jill rolled her eyes. Just once she'd like to win against him. To have him experience being on the losing side for once. They were good friends, she knew if she ever needed help, Roger would be the first person she called, and he was a great person to talk baseball with. But as a prosecutor, Roger Gunn was a giant pain in her ass.

She looked up at the game on the screen. Even now, she could still remember being there in the stadium, the thrill that had gone through the entire crowd of Yankees supporters, the explosive roar as they had won the game and the whole season. They way they'd both jumped up cheering, how they'd flung their arms around each other. The way they'd both leaned in, but pulled back at the last minute, apologies falling from both of their lips.

Jill shook her head, she'd made numerous attempts to not focus on it, or dwell on it in anyway shape or form. Though – on a few occasions – her mind had wandered and she'd think about what could be. But never for too long. Jill knew there was no way it could ever work between them, or even last. She looked back at her phone and smiled as she typed a response.

_'I have to be. We can't all be cynical prosecutors.'_

* * *

Roger smiled as he read the text. It was something of an inside joke between them. He was a cynic while she was an optimist. Their jobs required them to be on speaking terms, as well as for their to be clear lines of communication between the two offices. Their friendship – while unexpected – was one thing that he'd never change. While they had opposing views in regards to each others clients, there were things that they had similar views on, even if those were mostly confined to baseball.

He also knew that he was closer to her than others in the Southern District, even if there was a myriad of things he didn't know about her, or her life.

Roger was fairly sure that he was the only one that knew about her sister – save for Tina, possibly – and that was only because he had been there the last time Jill had seen her, outside Yankee Stadium on a cool September evening. Though Jill had brushed off his concern, it hadn't escaped his noticed that she'd walked a little bit closer to him as they'd searched the streets for her.

A cheer echoed from the television and he looked up to see the Yankees celebrating their victory. He smiled as he remembered what had almost happened between them in the aftermath. They'd not crossed any lines – even ones they were unaware that they'd laid for themselves – and they'd both exchanged apologies, agreeing to not speak of it again. However, Roger still thought about it from time to time.

_'You wound me.'_

_'And yet I don't hear a denial.'_

Roger chuckled as he read her response before typing his own. _'That's because the truth wounds.'_

He put his phone to one side as he stood up, he had a couple of files he still needed to go through before tomorrow. Especially since some were new cases that had been sent by courier late Friday night and needed to be sorted by tomorrow, so that the new recruits had something to get their teeth into. He needed the best of his new crop to win against hers.

_'Well, I'll see you in battle. Goodnight cynic.'_

_'Sweet dreams.'_

_'If they're of beating you, they will be.'_

_'So you do dream about me.'_

_'You wish.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it and are looking forward to seeing what comes next.


	2. Conversations on a Platform

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jill and Roger discuss the new intake of lawyers after the baseball game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This 'missing' moment comes after the end of the first episode.

Roger walked out of the station and scanned the area for Jill. She'd sent him a message to say that she was at the gate with the tickets. Amongst the sea of Yankees supporters he caught sight of Jill leaning against a lamppost. Like him, she too had changed from her work outfit. He also noticed that she was looking at her phone and typing quickly, which caused him to smile. She always did struggle to leave work behind – but then so did he. However, after the events of the past week, he had to admit that she did have plenty of reason to be checking her phone. 

“Hey,” he said as he approached.

“Hey,” she smiled, not looking up from her phone. “One second, just got to finish this email.” she finished typing and hit send, before she looked up. “Sorry. I'm all yours for the rest of the evening.”

“Lucky me,” he smirked, causing her to shake her head. “Anything I can help with?”

“Not really,” she replied as she slid her phone into the pocket of her brown leather jacket. She then made a show of pulling out the envelope containing the tickets out of her other pocket, fixing him with a smug smile.

Roger rolled his eyes, she was never going to let him forget that one time he'd forgot the tickets or let him live it down. It was why he now gave her the tickets a couple of days before the game. “Alright, come on. Since you lost today, I'll even buy you some nuts.”

“Oh you know how to make a girl feel special,” she laughed as they walked into the stadium. “And if we lived in a better world, my side would have won.”

“Of course they would,” Roger soothed. Though Jill could tell by his tone that he didn't wholly agree with her.

* * *

The Yankees won. Which – to Jill's mind – made the day not a complete washout. Of course there had been a good win, great win actually on Allison's part, but a trial loss was still a blow. Even if it had been one that she knew Sandra would almost certainly lose, it could certainly knock confidence. As they joined the crowd leaving the stadium, she looked over at Roger and noticed he seemed rather pensive.

“You okay?”

He shrugged. “Of course I am. It was a great win for the team.”

“No, your mind seems further away,” she commented as the cool night air hit them. “It has been all evening.”

“Its been a long few days,” he commented. “I have to admit, I wasn't expecting a trial from the new recruits.”

“I wasn't either.”

They slipped into a comfortable silence as they walked across the road towards the subway station. Though the case was over, both were reluctant to discuss it in public, or with each other. Mostly because both knew an appeal would happen before too long, and neither wanted to prejudice the other side.

“So, what's your opinion of your new intake?” Jill asked as they stood on the platform.

“I've got some good ones,” Roger replied. “Littlejohn is a shark, Knox is a snake…”

“Got anymore animal comparisons coming?”

“A few,” he smiled. “But there's a couple I'm not altogether sure about. How about your lot?”

“There's potential in all of them,” Jill commented. “Allison Adams is definitely going to be a hard one to beat for your lot,” she smiled.

“You know she would have lost that fraud case if Leonard Knox hadn't wanted the terrorism case. Or if Seth Oliver had been tougher.”

“I wouldn't go that far,” Jill replied with a small frown. “Jay Simmons has a lot of potential, and after this week, your side better watch out for Sandra Bell,” she added. Roger smiled as he heard the small hint of pride in her voice as she'd talked about her lawyers.

“I'm sure they will,” he agreed. “I have to say though, she did remind me a little of you when you first started. Full of fight, fire and righteous idealism.”

“And where's that idealistic young woman now?” Jill sighed as she tucked her hair behind her ear. Sometimes she wondered if her younger self would even recognise her now.

“She's still there,” Roger commented. “Tempered with wisdom, and experience, but the fight and fire is definitely still there,” he paused, choosing his next words carefully. “I'm glad its not been snuffed out completely,” he finished giving her a small smile.

Jill was quite unsure how to respond to that, so she merely smiled back. She felt a flicker of something in the pit of her stomach. It was something she'd noticed had started happen a little more frequently in recent months. The rumble and screech of the train arriving, snapped her back to the present. The doors opened and Roger indicated that she get on first. As was often the case after a game, the car was fairly packed so standing was the rule rather than exception. The train lurched as it set off again, heading back towards Manhattan. As she stood gripping the handrail, the words she'd spoken earlier tumbled around in her mind. She'd told Sandra that Roger was the adversary, but that wasn't strictly true. They were friends, constantly teetering on the edge of something else. She couldn't help but wonder how long before something happened and they fell off of that edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I hoped you liked it.


	3. Sports Bar on the East Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a broken subway train leads to watching the game in a nearby sports bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll freely admit that this wasn't my favourite chapter to write (or even to read back over), but it does have some nice bits in it that I quite like. And I hope you will too.
> 
> Takes place after 1x02

Roger angled himself away from the screen as the news replayed Delap's press conference. While it had been partially true when he said he didn't need the credit, but some form of recognition would be nice. He finished off his drink and set the glass on the bar top. He'd never wanted any approval from his boss, just to not feel like he was constantly fighting him over whatever case it was that Washington needed them to care about this time. Roger sighed as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his phone, hopefully whatever had held them up earlier had been sorted allowing them to actually get to the game.

“How's it looking?” Jill asked as she slid back onto the bar stool and noticed that he was looking at the travel alerts app.

“Not great,” he sighed. “They say its a broken down train, could take a while to clear it.”

“So we're unlikely to make it by the top of the second,” Jill commented. “I guess it can't be helped,” she added, “we could always share a cab?”

“At this time of day?” Roger scoffed. “With traffic like it is in Manhattan?”

“Okay, it was just a suggestion,” Jill held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “What is with you?”

“Sorry, its just...” he tailed off, indicating Delap on the TV.

“I get it,” she said, she paused as a thought occurred to her. “You know, there's a sports bar round the corner. We could always watch the game there.”

Roger nodded his head in agreement. “Sounds good.”

* * *

They walked round the block to the other bar in silence. Roger knew that he was in a bit of a mood, and figured getting mildly drunk with a good friend could only help matters. Jill pushed open the door and he followed her inside. He looked around the bar and was surprised to see that it was a lot cosier than other sports bars that he had been too. He also noticed a tall woman with wavy red hair staring at them curiously but before he could mention it to Jill the woman called over to them.

“Hey Jill!”

“Oh, hey Steph,” Jill smiled as she caught sight of the woman behind the bar. “Is it still upstairs?”

“As always,” Steph laughed. “Do you want your usual brought up?”

Jill glanced at Roger, silently asking him if he wanted the same. When he merely shrugged in response, Jill rolled her eyes at him and nodded the affirmative. They walked up the steps to the mezzanine and found themselves amongst a crowd of baseball fans. He scanned the area looking for a table. He spotted one by the railings, that gave them a good view of the big screen television mounted on the wall.

“So, how do you know the woman downstairs?” Roger asked. He had to admit, he was a little surprised at a bartender knowing her name, especially as he didn't think Jill was the type to frequent bars. But then there were many things that he still didn't know about her.

“I first discovered this place during my divorce,” Jill explained as she pulled off her coat. “Steph was a good listener. Then I started to come here when I couldn't get tickets to the games. Hence why I have a usual.”

“And your usual would be?”

Jill nodded in the direction of the stairs. Roger turned to see the same woman as before carrying a tray. On it were two bottles of beer and a plate of cheese covered nachos. Roger turned back to look at Jill with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Didn't have you down as a beer drinker.”

“Oh, there's a lot you don't know," she commented. "Maybe you'll find out one day."

“Is that a promise?”

“Maybe” she smirked as she took a deep swig of her drink. “So what do you think the final score will be?”

“Yankees victory obviously,” he replied, Jill nodded in agreement. “But a close game 9-7.”

Jill looked at him thoughtfully. “I think it'll be a clear victory.”

“Well, we'll see, won't we?”

“Yes we will,” Jill smiled as she tapped the neck of his bottle with hers. She took another sip before she turned her attention back to the screen.

-X-

The Yankees lost. But – like Roger had predicted, it had been a close game with the Blue Jays winning 8-7. For the first few innings it had looked like it would be a Yankees victory, but then in the last few innings, it was as though the Blue Jays could do no wrong. While Roger had merely grumbled, Jill had been rather more verbose in her disappointment and cursing. Something he had found deeply amusing.

“So, what now?”

Jill smiled as she took the last nacho. “Well, Steph – or one of the other bar staff – will bring up the bar's traditional post game drink.”

Roger looked up to see a waitress walking up the stairs carrying a tray full of shot glasses, while another carried a bottle of tequila. “I'm starting to see why you were a regular in this place,” he smiled as the tequila shots were set down in front of them.

“Oh, my tequila days are long behind me,” Jill laughed.

“Sounds like there are some stories there.”

“There are,” Jill nodded. “But I'm bound by the laws of sisterhood,” she held the shot glass aloft for him to clink. They clinked the glasses before they both down the shot.

* * *

They walked out of the bar, both frowning as they watched a few dark clouds obscure the few stars that they could normally see. Jill turned to walk in the direction of the subway, but Roger places his hand on her arm to stop her.

“You're not seriously taking the subway alone at this time of night?”

“I've done it before,” she shrugged. “Its not that dangerous.”

Roger rolled his eyes. He always did think she had a little too much faith in New York City residents. He knew that there were stand up citizens, but he doubted that they would be the ones that caught the subway that late at night. “Humour me, please?”

“And how do you expect me to get home?”

Roger shrugged. “I was thinking we'd share a cab.”

Jill sighed and gave him a smile. “Alright, but a cab ride is all you're getting.”

“Well, that's my dreams crushed.”

"I highly doubt that," she chuckled as they walked across the road to the row of cabs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it.


	4. Late Nights and Courtrooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the aftermath of the leaker case leads to some reminiscing and Jill prepares to face Roger in court.

As was often the case, Jill was the last person left in the office at the end of the day. Allison and Sandra had left half an hour ago, calling goodbye as they left. She'd been proud of the both of them today. Allison for arguing against Evaluate, and getting a fairer sentence for Keenan. Sandra for finding a way to work effectively with the other side to get the right deal for Dani. Both still had a long way to go, but she was certain that the pair were on the right path to becoming outstanding Public Defenders. The same could be said of Jay and the others, it had only been a month or so, but she reckoned her current intake were some of the best that she'd seen in a while.

She took a sip of her coffee before she turned her attention back to the files on her desk. While most people would prefer to leave it and start afresh in the morning. However, Jill Carlan was not most people, and actually preferred working in the office last thing at night. Some times, she'd take the files home and work on them there, but most of the time she worked there. It had been her experience that some of her best trial strategies had come in the late hours. Not to mention, she could give her full attention to her clients and not worry about being interrupted.

“Burning the midnight oil again?”

Jill looked up and smiled as she saw Roger in the doorway of her office. “I though the ring of salt stopped prosecutors from coming in here.”

“I'm immune,” he shrugged, before he sat down on the sofa, unbuttoning his jacket. “You know I always forget how small and haphazard it is in here.”

“As opposed to the cold, clinical, unfriendly, oppressive nature of the US Attorney's office?” Jill frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“I saw the light still on in your office as I passed the building, so I figured I’d check you were okay.”

“Tired, overworked, underfunded, the usual,” Jill smiled as she leaned back in her chair and regarded him closely. “Hold on, you never walk past the building. What did you really come here for?”

“Well, for starters that press conference the other day.”

Jill held up her hands. “Nothing to do with me, Sandra did that of her own volition.”

“And you didn't encourage it?”

“Well, I didn't stop her,” Jill smiled. “Can't make it too easy for you.”

Roger smiled. “Well, it is no fun if its not a hard fight. Still, Byrne succeeded where we failed,” he paused. “But then he's always been able to do that.”

Jill smiled as a memory came to the front of her mind. Not a similar case, but a similar experience. She could tell by the smirk that Roger wore, that he too was thinking about the same thing that she was. A fiery public defender and a pretentious prosecutor who couldn't get along at all. They'd been on opposite sides of a trespassing case, and continually rubbed each other up the wrong way. Not to mention they couldn't agree on any sort of plea deal. Eventually, Byrne – back in his Criminal Division days – had essentially locked them in the conference room until they agreed a plea deal. After what had felt like several days, but had really only been an hour or two, they'd agreed to the terms of the deal and a cordial – if a little bit spiky and unfriendly at times – work relationship had sprung up. It had only been in recent years when they'd started going to games together that any real friendship had formed between them. One that had only deepened when they'd both become each other's counterpart.

“Thinking about that first case?”

“Hmm,” she nodded. “I can't help but see a few similarities between then and now.”

“Especially with Judge Byrne the peacemaker.”

“To be fair, it probably makes his job a little easier if we all get along.”

Roger frowned. “I wouldn't say they need to get along. Be civil certainly.”

“Well, I can think of some in the office who'd run a mile at the thought of civility with the opposition,” Jill mused. “So what else, did you want to speak to me about?”

“I can't recall,” Roger shrugged as she stood, picking up his briefcase. “Don't go staying here too late,” he said from the doorway. “We wouldn't want you to burn out from exhaustion.”

“I didn't know you cared.”

“I don't,” though the small smile told a different story. “I'd just hate to get another Federal Public Defender, I've just gotten used to you.”

“Such a charmer,” Jill drawled, as she pulled another file towards her. She watched as his smile widened briefly before he left her office, waving over his shoulder.

Jill shook her head before she opened the file. It had been a case that had come in towards the end of the day and she had took it on herself. She read through the basics; name (Eric Hundersby), age (44), charge (fraud) and who opposing counsel was. Her eyes widened as she saw the name and was glad that she'd took it on herself. With a few exceptions, the only defenders she let go up against him were herself, and the ones that had been there for a couple of years. She didn't like pitting first years against Roger if she could help it. She didn't want him to completely terrify them. Especially when he could be just as ruthless as she was, sometimes even more. 

Jill wondered if that had been why he'd stopped by. Either way, she was going to enjoy the hearing tomorrow. Going into battle with Roger was always fun and it kept her sharp. Not to mention she was also a tiny bit captivated by him in the courtroom. Not that she would ever admit it to herself. Or to him, some things he never needed to know. She thought about sending Roger a message saying that she'd see him in court, but figured she'd leave it til the morning, the look on his face would be fun enough. She clicked her favourite pen and started to prepare her arguments. She'd visit Eric in the morning and fill in the blanks from there. She was already convinced she could at least get the secondary charge thrown out as it was totally baseless.

* * *

Jill walked up the courthouse steps, an extra bounce in her step. Her meeting with Eric had been a decent success and she'd gotten the information she needed. She felt confident enough she could get two counts thrown out and the third pleaded down to a relatively minor offence.

“You look happy.”

Jill smiled at Tina who had materialised at her side. “I've got a hearing in ten minutes.”

“And that is making you happy?” Tina frowned. She had never known any lawyer to be happy about hearings.

“Its against Roger.”

“Ah,” Tina smiled. “If I didn't have things to do I'd come and watch,” she added causing Jill to frown. “Watching the two of you in court, its like watching a championship tennis match between players at the top of their game,” they came to a stop outside the courtroom. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” Jill said as she pulled open the door.

She walked into the courtroom and smiled slightly at the look on Roger's face as he caught sight of her. It was halfway between annoyance and smugness.

“Well, this is going to be fun.”

“Odd description of fun,” Jill smiled as she took her seat. “Why'd you take this one? Bit low fry for you isn't it?”

“Well after Oliver failed, I figured it couldn't hurt to have them see how to win a fraud case.”

“You really think you're going to win?”

“I always do,” he said with a smug smile as the side door opened and the guards brought in Eric Hundersby. “Once more unto the breach,” he commented, causing Jill to roll her eyes before she turned to speak to her client.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	5. Take Comfort In Your Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jill has company while sitting outside Chloe's flat.
> 
> Takes place after 1x04

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is possibly one of my favourite chapters of this little story, so I hope you guys like it too.
> 
> Also, this chapter is what I meant when I said this story was canon-ish. As I really don't think this would have happened this early in canon, but it's just a really nice moment in general.
> 
> Chapter title comes from one of my favourite songs 'Everybody Hurts'

Jill stepped into the darkened hallway, closing the door behind her. She heard the latch slide into place with a soft click and looked around. She had found the past couple of days to be extremely tiring and not just trying to get the CTE diagnosis ruled as admissible, but everything with Chloe as well. It had also brought up a few unresolved issues in regards to her sister Victoria. It had been a couple of years since Jill had last seen her, she hadn't even heard from her. The last time had been near Yankee Stadium. After a slightly manic in tone conversation, she'd tried to get her to go home with her, but Tori had run off into the night, with no idea as to where she had gone. Roger had helped her look, but it was as though she'd gone without a trace.

She looked back at the front door, before she glanced back down the hallway. After everything that had happened, she wasn't entirely sure she could enjoy the rest of her evening. Pre-trial services had promised to keep an eye on Chloe, but their resources were stretched and they couldn't do it 24/7. she slid down the wall and sat cross legged on the floor. She leaned her head back against the wall, her mind in a whirl. Jill pulled out her phone and sent a message to Roger. They were supposed to be meet for a drink that evening, but since she was going to keeping vigil for most of the evening, she was going to have to cancel on him. She doubted he'd mind, it had been a rather last minute decision in the first place. Once that was settled, she resumed her leaning position.

-x-x-x-

Footsteps were something Jill usually ignored. But in a quiet, semi-darkened hallway, where the only sounds had been the occasional movement of Chloe inside her apartment, the sound was a slight concern. Jill looked up and frowned a little when Roger came into view.

“What are you...” she tailed off. When he'd messaged back asking if she needed to talk, followed up with a 'where are you?', she hadn't expected to show up in person. She'd just assumed it was him concerned for her welfare.

“I figured you could use the company,” he shrugged as he sat opposite her. She gave him a smile before they slipped into silence. He opened his briefcase and pulled out a book. She recognised it as one he'd been telling her about the other night. Though she would never admit to his face, she quite liked that side of him. It was the complete opposite to the usual image he projected, and it was shown only to a select few people.

“I wasn't planning on being here all night,” she said after a few moments. “I just...”

“You don't need to explain,” he smiled. “Its who you are. You go that little bit further for your clients than most would. Its why I admire you.”

“I'm sorry, what was that?” Jill smirked as she caught sight of him blushing slightly. 

“You heard me.”

Jill didn't know what made her do it – and she categorically refused to listen to the traitorous part of her that said otherwise – but she moved across the hallway so that she was sat beside him. She hesitated for a moment before she rested her head against his shoulder. Jill felt him stiffen momentarily before he relaxed again. She let her eyes travel over the words on the page, not really taking them in. It was mostly distract her thoughts from the endless spiral that had been this case, and thoughts of her sister who was God knows where.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” she replied. “Its just, something about her, about Chloe, reminded me of Tori.”

Roger closed the book and gently rubbed her arm. “You heard from her recently?”

Jill shook her head. “Not since that night.”

“Ah,” he murmured. “You know, maybe you should have someone look into it, find out where she is. It might give you peace of mind if nothing else.”

“I have considered it, I even looked into it,” Jill sighed. “But with almost nothing to go on, it would be like a needle in a haystack,” she added. “I'd panic every time the phone rang.”

“And you don't panic now?”

“Not to the level I would be,” she commented. “And then there's the fact that all the reputable private investigators are ridiculously expensive.”

“And their retainers are extortionate.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I just have to remain optimistic and hope that when she needs me, she'll get in touch.”

Roger shifted slightly and moved his hand to give hers a light squeeze. She lifted her head from his shoulder and gave him a small smile. She turned her hand over underneath his, linking their fingers together, before she put her head back against his shoulder. If it hadn't been a long and tiring day, she would probably feel a little awkward or wonder if it would confuse things between them. But for the moment, it was nice to let the mask slip for a bit and be a little bit vulnerable with someone that wouldn't judge her for it. They sat in silence, both staring straight ahead.

Neither were sure how long they'd sat there, but neither really minded, it wasn't as though they had anywhere else to be. Or wanted to be anywhere else. When the thin sliver of light that was visible under the door shut off, Roger shifted slightly and looked at his watch.

“Time to go?” she asked looking over at him.

“I think so,” he replied as he stood up. “But if you wanted to stay...”

“No, I think she'll be fine for the rest of the night,” she said as he helped her stand. Jill winced as she felt a slight twinge in her knees from being sat on the floor for too long. “It goes without saying that this...”

“Stays in this hallway,” Roger nodded. “We do have reputations to protect,” he said with a small smile, before they turned and walked towards the stairs.

They walked out of the apartment building in silence. Both shivered slightly at being out in the cold after several hours inside a warm building.

“Thank you for coming. You didn't have to.”

Roger gave her a warm smile. “It was nothing,” he paused. “I only came as I was at a loose end. I was supposed to meet a friend for a drink, but she cancelled last minute.”

“Well, she sounds awful. Why are you friends with her?” she asked causing them both to start laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	6. The Brooding Prosecutor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the Rodrigo Puente case, Roger broods and then meets with Jill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original title for this chapter was going to be a line from 'Ode on Melancholy' by John Keats, but it felt way too depressing in tone so I went for something that sounds akin to a character description in an Agatha Christie novel 😁.

Roger glared at the blinking cursor on the word document as though it had personally wronged him. It hadn't of course, he was just still feeling a small fraction of anger over recent events. In all his years as a prosecutor, he'd never known a judge almost threaten them with instructing a jury about returning a guilty verdict and what the sentence would be as a result. At least not in the Federal Courts. Even in State Court it was an extreme rarity. And if he had ever thought about it, he'd have doubted that it would be Judge Byrne that would be the one to do it. As a judge, Byrne had dropped the ruthless edge that he'd had as a prosecutor. He'd probably never admit it publicly, but he'd even go as far as to to say that Byrne was one of the most reasonable judges he'd argued in front of. He was tough, but also fair. But this week, it had been different. Roger didn't know what it was that had made Byrne rally against a sentence that he'd imposed hundreds of times without breaking a sweat.

A notification chimed on his phone, he glanced at it and sighed. It was informing him of his meeting with Jill in fifteen minutes. Roger knew that he needed to get rid of the lingering resentment by then, and have a clear head. Not that he was angry at Jill, she was the one person – his daughters exempted – that he was rarely angry with. But there was a little bit of hurt and some (possibly misguided, he wasn't entirely sure) anger there. He never expected her to agree with his point of view regarding her clients, but some support would have been nice. They both knew that it was wrong for a judge to instruct the jury, and yet she'd still taken Byrne's side. Then she'd had the nerve to suggest that his reluctance had to do with his past with the judge – which had been completely untrue. He believed in the rule of law and he was trying to protect its integrity.

The look she'd given him as she'd walked away from him in the corridor, still bugged him. Just because they'd had a something of a moment the other week, didn't mean he was suddenly going to give into her pleas. Jill had known exactly what his reaction would be to even suggesting that the prosecution drop the quantity from the charge, yet still she'd persisted. While he usually found her persistence endearing, yesterday it had just pissed him off. Even if he had then suggested to Delap that they do just that. Roger shook his head to clear the thoughts. He needed a clear mind, knowing that Jill would appear in his doorway any minute now. Of course, he was a little apprehensive about it. He had a feeling that Jill might give him some flack for the writ being filed in the first place, even if it had been Seth that filed it.

He looked up at a knock on the door and beckoned her in. Roger turned his attention back to the screen and made a show of looking like he had actually been doing something as opposed to brooding. From the corner of his eye, he watched as she took off her coat, before she pulled a notebook out of her bag. He fought a smirk at the sight, it had been a long running source of humour for him. He'd asked her once what some of the inscrutable markings in the margins meant and Jill had informed him that they were her top secret plans to disassemble and then restructure the entire American legal system. Something he was 99.5% sure was a joke.

“What?” he asked as he turned to look at her properly and noticed that she was studying him closely.

“You're mad about something,” she frowned. “What is it?”

“You.”

“What have I done now?” she sighed before her frown deepened. “This case?” he nodded. “We've always been different people. We're never going to agree on everything,” she added. “You can't seriously have expected me to do something that would have had an adverse effect on my client.”

“Of course not, but some support would have been nice.”

Jill softened. “I know and I agree it was wrong,” she smiled slightly at the look of shock that had flashed across his face. “I don't think you and Seth should have been put in the position you were,” she sighed. “But even you have to admit that ten years is excessively cruel.”

“Maybe,” Roger shrugged. “But the law is the law.”

“We've been having this same argument for the past three years,” Jill commented. “Neither of us will ever win it.”

“That won't stop me trying.”

Jill shook her head and gave him an exasperated smile before she opened her notebook. “Well, I didn't come here to discuss Byrne. Let's get to it.”

Roger nodded and settled back in his chair. It would be good to get back on familiar ground with her. He much preferred arguing about cases and whatever investigations the US Attorney's office was running than whether a judge had been right or wrong.

-x-x-

“I think that's everything,” Jill said as she closed her notebook. “Unless there's anything you want to add?”

“Not that I recall,” he said as they both stood up.

“You still mad at me?”

“No,” he smiled. “And it was never really you that I was mad at, more the situation,” he sighed. “We both know I can't stay mad at you.”

Jill smiled and looked down at her shoes in an attempt to conceal the blush that had formed. It was the same for her. They'd argue about something or get annoyed at the other, but things sorted themselves out after a couple of days, sometimes it only took a couple of hours for them to get back to normal. “Well, I should get back to the office.”

“Of course who knows what trouble the rookie public defenders will cause without you.”

“Oh no, they don't cause any trouble, they're all too terrified of me to do anything out of line,” she smirked.

“Well, that I believe,” Roger laughed as he opened the door. “After all, the tales of the tyrant that is Jill Carlan are legendary.”

“Oh no, those tyrant stories are about you,” she chuckled before she gave him a sheepish smile. “I think I even may have helped spread the one about you being the devil after our first case against each other."

“That was you?” Roger asked feigning a look of hurt. He'd actively encouraged some of the stories, it helped if there was a healthy dose of fear surrounding him for the opposition.

“I think its well documented that I hated you back then,” she smiled. “You were a pain in the ass.”

“And now?”

“I don't hate you,” Jill conceded. “But you're still a pain in the ass.”

“And that's why you love me.”

“Dream on Gunn, dream on.” Jill laughed as she walked out of the office. Though she kept her head down so that no one could see the slight blush that had appeared.

Kate watched the pair as she picked up some folders and not for the first time wondered just how a friendship between the two of them - though she occasionally thought there might be something else there too, if the look on Roger's face as he watched Jill leave was anything to go by, Kate thought she might be onto something - worked. Especially as they were vastly different people. Admittedly she hadn't had many dealings with the Federal Public Defender, but she had no doubt that Jill was just as self righteous as the other public defenders. She shook her head and returned to her office, it was none of her business. Though she really couldn't imagine being friends with the opposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	7. Getting Closer To The Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jill meets an old friend, and needs a helping hand to avoid a setup. 
> 
> Takes place after 1x06.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a little with this chapter, one small section underwent several changes as I tried to get it right. But I think it all came out okay in the end.
> 
> Title comes from the song 'Stop Me From Falling' by Kylie Minogue. And will make sense around the middle of the chapter 😉

“You did great in there today,” Jill smiled as she and Allison left the courthouse. “I admit, I was sceptical when you wanted to put Arturo on the stand, but it worked. That was an incredible win.”

“Thank you,” Allison smiled.

“Make sure you celebrate properly with Sandra okay?”

“I will.”

Jill smiled as she watched the young lawyer head off to find her friend and flatmate. She had to admit that she wasn't sure that she could have been that brave if she had had a case like that when she a first year public defender. She felt her phone vibrate and pulled it out of her pocket. She groaned as she saw the notification. She'd forgotten that Andrea was in the city and had suggested meeting for drinks tonight. Andrea was one of her friends from her law school days. They had been house mates and confidants. They'd gone their separate ways after graduation – Andrea to Boston, Jill to New York – but they'd still kept in touch, and were close enough to be a bridesmaid at each other's weddings. They even met up whenever Andrea came into the city. Jill liked catching up with her, but she could also be a bit much. Unable to think of a good enough reason to day no, she responded by saying that she was free tonight.

It was a decision that she regretted mere hours later.

After the usual pleasantries had been exchanged and they'd talked about what had gone on since they'd last met, Andrea had fixated on the fact that Jill was still unattached. Despite all Jill's protests, Andrea – an old romantic at heart – couldn't understand why almost fifteen years after the divorce, she had no desire to get back out there apart from a few flings.

“I'm not saying you should get married again, I know you hate that idea, but surely you want to be close to someone again. You must get lonely all alone in that little apartment,” Andrea sighed as she drummed her fingers against the tabletop.

“I'm not lonely,” Jill replied. While she did – on rare occasions – miss the closeness that came with being in a relationship, she wasn't desperate to be coupled up. There was only one person she could actually see herself having a relationship with and that was rather a dead end, so she didn't even contemplate it. Much.

“But what about sex?”

“Don't need a relationship or another person for that,” Jill commented as she finished off her drink.

Andrea shook her head, before she stood up to locate the bathroom before getting the next round in. Jill waited until Andrea was out of sight and pulled out her phone. She knew exactly what it was her friend was building to, and she needed to call someone to act as a buffer: _'Tiny's. Save me.'_

Five minutes later, Andrea returned, another two gin and tonics in hand. She pushed one in front of Jill. “You know, I know just the guy for you,” she said as she sat back down. “He works with Mike at the firm, so he'd understand the hours you work. I'll give you Ryan's number and tell him to expect your call.”

“Actually, I...”

“Jill? I thought that was you.”

Jill visibly relaxed at the sound of the familiar voice. She knew it would probably cost her for needing his help. But if it stopped her from being set up, she would gladly pay it. “Roger, hi,” she said as she stood up to greet him. “Thank you” she murmured as she kissed his cheek.

“And who's this?” Andrea asked as she watched the pair in front of her.

“Roger Gunn,” he said introducing himself to her.

“Andrea Walker,” she replied, glancing over at Jill. “She didn't tell me she was seeing someone.”

“Oh we're...”

“It's still early days,” Roger said smoothly, pointedly dodging the nudge Jill had aimed at him. “But I can see I'm interrupting, I'll leave you ladies to it.”

“No, stay,” Andrea smiled. “You can tell me all about how you guys met.”

“Well...”

There were spared momentarily by Andrea's phone ringing. Realising that it was her husband, she excused herself from the conversation and headed to a quieter corner.

“You didn't think to correct her?”

“What would you have me say?” he shot back as he sat down next to her. “We sort of work together and she sent me an SOS?”

“It was not an SOS.”

Roger shook his head. “What did you need saving from?”

Jill sighed. “She was trying to set me up. With a corporate lawyer. From Boston. I just know he's a Red Sox fan.”

“That would require saving,” Roger agreed.

“I didn't need saving, just help.”

“Oh, congratulations for earlier,” he said, Jill noticed the pain he seemed to be in admitting it and smirked. “That was a hell of a win for your office. Piracy cases are almost impossible for the defence to win.”

“Don't I know it," Jill sighed, as she rested her head on her hand, looking up at him through her lashes.

Roger opened his mouth and then closed it again, suddenly finding words hard. Which under different circumstances he would find funny, especially considering his career as an attorney depended on words. But the look she was giving him, just seemed to rob him of that power. Jill felt her heart start to beat a little faster, under the intensity of his gaze. She wasn't blind, she noticed the way his eyes had briefly flicked down to her lips. It wouldn't take much to close the distance. A few inches, the same amount of space that was between them when they walked down the street. All that would be required would be for the both of them to lean in just a fraction.

The sound of a glass smashing caused them both to pull back, and avoid each others gaze, trying to calm their racing hearts.

“Sorry,” Andrea said as she returned. “I'm going to have to run, my son is sick and wants me, not his dad. You should come up to Boston some time” she added as she hugged Jill goodbye before she turned to look at Roger. “The both of you. I want to see more of you. You make a lovely couple.”

“I'm sure we will,” Roger smiled as they watched her walk away. He turned back to look at Jill who was glaring at him for continuing the charade. “If it makes you feel better, next time you see her you can say you brutally broke my heart.”

“Why would I be the heartbreaker?” Jill asked, relieved that her voice sounded normal.

“Are we really arguing over who would break up with who in a fictional relationship?”

“It would appear so,” Jill commented as she finished off her drink, glad the earlier moment hadn't caused too much awkwardness between them. “You want to stay for one more round? I'm buying.”

“Well, I did save you from a set up.”

Jill rolled her eyes as she stood up. “How long are you going to hold that one over me?”

“As long as its fun,” he replied, eyes alight with amusement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought.


	8. Who knew season tickets could cause so much trouble?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look inside the minds of our 'heroes' as the issue of season tickets causes some tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The somewhat wordy title for this chapter is the result of not being able to think of something short and snappy. But considering the events that transpired in the episode (one of my favourites if I say so myself) it's probably accurate. And something Roger probably thought at one point in said episode.
> 
> Contains some dialogue from 1x07.

Roger sighed as he put his phone back on his desk. He'd been trying to find someone to go in on the season tickets with him. But so far, he'd had no luck. Roger had wanted to share them with Jill, but that was a slight no go at the moment. He really wasn't sure what had changed in the space of a day. When he'd first mentioned it to her, she had been as excited as him, but now that had changed. He knew that whatever had caused her change of mind was the reason she had shown up in his office with a pile of contracts talking about protecting them from any weirdness. Though, he had feigned ignorance, Roger knew exactly what she had meant. Moments between them were becoming more and more frequent of late, culminating in the near kiss last week. But they'd been having moments like that for years, so he really didn't know what had made this time so different. His eyes fell upon the framed ticket that he kept on the cabinet behind his desk. It had been one of the best baseball games that he had ever seen, it had also been the first game that he'd gone to with Jill. It had been that game, on a balmy July night, that their friendship had started to take root. Over countless games, the divide that existed between them in the courtroom had gone, leaving their battles where they belonged and allowing a genuine friendship to blossom.

He drummed his fingers against his thigh and his eyes fell upon the pile of contracts that were sitting on the corner of his desk. He thought about everything that were sitting on the corner of his desk. He thought about everything that had happened and all of the moments they'd experienced over the years. He knew exactly what it was that he had to do. He didn't particularly want to do it, but if it was what Jill needed, then he would do it.

* * *

She should be working. Continuances, motions, opening and closing statements didn't just write themselves. Jill had always prided herself on her ability to focus on any task at hand, regardless of what her mind was choosing to focus on, or whatever external forces were conspiring against her (usually the prosecution). But today, she just couldn't. Jill blamed Tina for that one. Well, she blamed Roger a little bit too, but it was mostly Tina that she was cursing. Everything would have been fine if Tina hadn't gotten in her head about her and Roger going in on season tickets. Now all the potential scenarios refused to vacate her mind, about how her and Roger's precarious friendship could fall apart. Or what would happen if they crossed that line, became _'Jill and Roger'_ and then they broke up. She knew that Tina's heart had been in the right place, but it really hadn't helped matters at all. If anything, she was totally confused. Her own continually shifting feelings hadn't helped matters either. The thought of never going to another baseball game with Roger sent a stab of hurt straight through her. It had been the two of them, and the Yankees for eight years and the thought of losing that, losing _him,_ hurt.

A soft knock had her looking up. She saw Roger stood in the doorway as though he was unsure that she actually wanted to see him right now. After several moments, he walked in properly, closing the door behind him.

“I'm not fighting about this,” Jill sighed holding her hands up. “Not at work, not anywhere, not ever. It isn't a fight, its just the way it has to be,” she watched as he placed a stack of paper in front of her. Jill recognised them as the contracts she'd given him the previous day. She looked through them and glanced up at him. “You signed?”

Roger gave her a small smile, and Jill couldn't help but think that he looked a little shy. “Its been my dream to have season tickets to the Yankees. With you,” he said noticing the way that her breath hitched slightly. “I wanna go to games with you.”

“Thank you,” she smiled, feeling her heart skip. Inwardly, she began to berate herself, she was not a simpering schoolgirl, yet apparently her mind wanted her to act like one at the look he was giving her. It also made her feel slightly warm all over, shoots of desire flaring as she wondered what the intensity of that look would feel like in a different setting. She pulled herself out of it, this was not the time or place to be having these kinds of thoughts.

Roger nodded at her and turned to leave, pulling the door open. “April 2nd, 7:05 pm.”

“Opening day.”

“See you there.”

Jill nodded as she watched him walk away, her eyes following his retreating figure. She was glad that things had been sorted between them. She would've hated herself if things had gone south. Without baseball she wasn't entirely sure that their friendship would continue as it had. Not with how precarious things felt between them.

“Come on Carlan, focus,” she muttered turning back to the files on her desk. “Your clients are depending on you. Fantasise on your own time.”

-x-x-

As he walked out of the office building, Roger breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad that things with Jill were back on an even keel. He was well aware of the constantly shifting nature of their friendship and how it had undergone another shift in recent days. He just hoped that when things shifted again - like they always did - it would bring them closer rather than push them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I look forward to seeing what you made of this chapter.


	9. You Fight, Then You Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of an argument and the resolution. 
> 
> Set during and after 1x08

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title comes from the song 'You Are In Love' by Taylor Swift, a song in which several of the lyrics of which always seem to make me think of Jill and Roger.

Jill watched as Roger stormed out of the office and growled in frustration. It wasn't the first time they'd had serious arguments over their cases, but it was the first time that it had felt so personal. As though there had been something else scratching beneath the surface. A small niggling _something_ that neither could name fighting to be let out. The fact that they had switched sides for once, forcing them to spend time in the other's shoes also seemed a little odd. It certainly wasn't what they were used to. Not in this line of work. She flopped down into her chair and shoved a couple of files off of her desk. It wasn't enough to burn off the anger she could still feel bubbling away, but she didn't particularly fancy having criminal damage charges brought against her. Not when she was about to go to trial for a case she really didn't want to have in the first place. But as much as she disliked her client and the job he'd done, she was going to make sure that Kirk Keener had the exact defence representation that he deserved. She'd always liked a fight, and this was shaping up to be the big one. Jill was fairly sure that she was going to lose, it had been a near fatal mistake that he'd made, and she definitely disagreed with the methods that he'd employed, but she was going to defend him to the hilt. And if it pissed off Roger in the process, well, with her current mood, it was an acceptable outcome.

-x-x-

Roger walked back into his office, face like thunder. He slammed his office door and threw his briefcase onto the couch. The few AUSA's that were still in the office all found reasons to avoid walking past his office. None of them wanted to get their heads bitten off. Roger had planned to go home after he'd spoken to Jill, but right now he was going to triple check everything. If she wanted a fight then she was going to get one. He didn't know when the hell everything had got so flipped around, or how they'd even ended up arguing in the first place. He'd always known they had different views on the whole legal system but he hadn't realised the depths that those different opinions ran to.

He sighed as he sat down behind his desk, looking out into the slightly darkened hallways. He hadn't even wanted to bring charges against Keener in the first place but she'd forced his hand. If he'd have known that it would bring this much hassle, he wouldn't have charged the man in the first place. He shook his head, he'd have still brought the charges once the video had been leaked, it was the right thing to do. He may like the raids that the DEA carried out, it made people feel safer if they were taking drug dealers off of the streets. But he didn't want the prisoners being locked up and forgotten while waiting to be processed.

“Knox!”

Leonard pushed open the door and wondered what it was that Roger wanted.

“The plea deal for Keener's been withdrawn,” he explained. “We're going to trial.”

“I'll start preparations," he said with a nod.Normally, he'd have queried it, but the look in his boss's eyes was enough to agree and keep his head down. He had no desire to end up on the other side of Roger's anger.

Roger leaned back in his chair, it was going to be an interesting trial, they'd both be coming at it from different angles. They knew each others tactics, so it should be easy to counteract them. It had been a long time since he'd had a trial that got the blood flowing and he was going to fight like hell to win it. He'd never lost a trial to Jill, and he didn't intend to start now.

* * *

“Never again.”

Roger looked across the diner table to see Jill looking at him. “To what?”

“Switching sides in the courtroom,” she replied. “It was uncomfortable, even if it was nice to win against you for once.”

Roger sighed and gave her an exasperated look. “Don't get used to it.”

Jill laughed softly, before she lifted her glass, still with some champagne in it. “To seeing each others point of view,” Roger shook his head. “To me winning for once?” he still shook his head. “To being friends again?”

“We were never not friends,” Roger commented as he lifted his glass. “To business as usual.”

Jill shook her head. “To normality. Or at least our offices versions of normal.”

“To normality,” Roger agreed tapping his glass against hers. “You know, if we're seen by anyone, it doesn't look good,” he commented. “Drinking while working.”

She tilted her head and gave him the same fond look she often gave him. “I thought we'd previously established that _this_ isn't work.”

“So we did.”

They settled into silence as they finished the remains of their meals, exchanging looks when the other wasn't looking. Both were glad that things were back to how it usually was between them. They'd had cases and trials against each other before, but something about this time was different, but neither were sure what it actually was that had been the something different. They also hadn't expected to skip out their usual meeting to sit in a diner, eating omelettes and toasting with champagne in the middle of the day.

“What?” Jill asked as she looked up to see him watching her with the same inscrutable look he'd given her countless times before. The same one that sometimes haunted her dreams – not that she'd actually tell him that particular train of thought.

“I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you,” he replied, tearing his gaze away from her and looking at his plate. He wasn't sure how she'd react to his current line of thought. How he wanted a little bit more than what they currently had.

“I think I would,” she commented, suddenly nervous, her fingers itching to take his, despite her minds protests. The shrill tone of her phone had her sitting back as she fumbled through her coat pockets to find it. She looked at the display to see who was calling before she answered. "Sandra."

Roger studied his hands as he tried not to listen to Jill's side of the conversation. He couldn't help but wonder if fate had just stopped him from making a giant mistake.

“Sorry I've got to go,” she said apologetically.

“Don't worry about it,” he smiled. He understood what the job meant to her, it meant the same to him.

“If you're sure,” she said biting her lip. She could tell he'd been on the verge of something and she wanted to finish the conversation, but knew Sandra needed her help more. He gave her a nod and she placed her hand over his for a moment before she pulled back.

“Go. Defend the city,” he said.

She shook her head and gave him a soft smile, before she turned to leave, trying to quiet her mind screaming the reasons why it would never work between them.

Roger watched her leave, before he signalled the waitress that had served them so that he could pay. As he walked back to the office, he thought back over their conversation and decided to take that risk and let Jill know how he felt. He just hoped it wouldn't be too long before the right opportunity presented itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's teed it up nicely for a 'grand day out' so to speak. 😉
> 
> Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading.


	10. Jill and Roger's Grand Day Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of vignette's detailing the moments inbetween their day out in Westchester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such a fun and wonderful episode for these two, so I loved playing with potential moments in between their scenes. And the band mentioned at the beginning, only got a mention cos they were playing while I was writing.

As they walked out of the hotel, Jill looked around, and couldn't help but laugh, Roger glanced over at her, eyebrow raised.

“Don't tell me you've never done this before?”

“Not recently,” Jill admitted. “I think the last time was in law school, I skipped a lecture on something or other, to go with some friends to a Bon Jovi concert in Philadelphia.”

Roger looked at her, eyes round with surprise. “That is a hell of a reason to skip a lecture, and one hell of a day out.”

“It was,” Jill nodded, her tone wistful as she remembered the day. “So, since this was your idea, where's the first port of call?”

He looked at his watch. He'd had a few plans for the day, but that had been when he thought he'd be spending the day by himself. Of course, much of what he had planned, Jill could come along for, but since she was there with him, he did want to give her a little tour of his favourite spots in the area. “I know a little place,” he said. “It's a bit of a walk, you gonna be okay in those heels?”

“I'll be fine,” she sighed. “In my private firm days, I spent at least 10 hours a day in them.”

“Then follow me,” he said with a wide grin and heading off in the direction of the main road. Jill shook her head as she followed him, praying that no one asked her about the conference when she got back to the city.

* * *

A light breeze whipped around them as they left the restaurant, Jill glanced over at Roger. He seemed different here, a little bit freer. It was the same side of him that she saw when they were at baseball games, or in their quiet moments. Yet at the same time, it was as though there was a weight off of his shoulders. But then she supposed that was the upshot of not having any work worries. She had no doubt that he had scared his staff into not calling him unless it was an emergency. It had been nice to see another facet to his personality. Even with their close friendship, she realised that there were still things that they hadn't shared with each other. Her divorce was nothing to write home about, its why she never talked about it. But she'd never guessed that Roger didn't talk about his own divorce – though he'd talked about his daughters at great length, his pride in them evident – because he considered it to be his big failure. Something that she could easily sympathise with.

“You having fun yet?”

“Still deciding.”

“Am I not entertaining enough?” he asked as he bumped his shoulder against hers.

“Its still a toss up between you and the e-discovery.”

“Then I guess I'll just have to continue convincing you,” he commented with an impish grin. He held out his arm, indicating that she take it. After a moments hesitation she looped her arm through his and let him lead them down the sidewalk.

Despite the looseness of the hold, Jill couldn't help but marvel at how normal it felt for the two of them to be arm in arm. As they turned a corner onto a street filled with store fronts, she wondered just what it was that he didn't want to be late for. He'd been annoyingly cryptic whenever she'd asked him. They came to the opposite end of the streets and stopped outside a small building with art deco patterns on the pillars, and a few flecks of peeling paint. Roger let go of her arm and held the door open for her.

“And just what are we intending to see?” she asked as she looked around the lobby seeing no sign of what was playing.

Roger shrugged and gave her that same smile that she was coming to find set her heart fluttering. “I think they've got Wonder Woman showing. That sound good?”

Jill nodded as she turned around to look at the various old photographs that lined the walls. Roger watched her with a fond smile. Today was shaping up to be a good day. He hadn't expected to be spending the day with Jill, but he was glad that he was. For the past few days he'd been trying to figure out how to have _that_ conversation with her, thankfully the perfect opportunity had presented itself. He just hoped that the topic would arise naturally rather than having to force it. Of course that was assuming she didn't kill him for the movie choice. He knew full well, that the movie showing was not one she'd chose to watch.

* * *

By the time they left the cinema, evening had started to fall. Something that surprised the both of them as they hadn't realised they'd been inside that long. Both looked at each other a little shyly. The close quarters of the cinema had had them both feeling more than a few jolts of electricity, especially when their hands had brushed lightly. There had also been a little moment when he'd passed her a tissue when she'd teared up towards the end, and she'd given him a watery smile. It had been all Roger could do, to not to lean in and kiss her.

“So, has this been more fun than the conference?”

“It has,” Jill smiled, before she paused. “Of course you could have just said what film it was you wanted to see, you didn't have to cover it up.”

“Would you have come along though?” Roger asked. “I know you're not the biggest fan of French cinema.”

"That maybe so, but I'd still have come,” she smiled, the unspoken _'with you'_ hanging between them. “So, where to now?”

“I have an idea,” he said, as he once again held out an arm for her. She took his arm and they set off down the street. “Just need to stop by the nearest store first.”

Jill raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't question it. He hadn't steered her wrong today. Not yet anyway. As they walked, Jill couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to do this on a regular basis. That they were just two people on the cusp of something, starting to get to know one another better. Of the course the simple fact of the matter was that on a very basic level, they were completely different people and any romantic relationship that they entered into would probably be hindered by their jobs. And, on a very real level, she didn't want to lose what it was that they'd built over the past several years. She had no desire to end up hating him.

“I can hear you thinking,” Roger said breaking the silence. “What is it?”

“Nothing major, just thinking.”

“Well, if you need someone to talk too...”

“I'll call you.”

Roger gave her a small smile. For most of the day he'd been working on how to broach the topic of them. After several various conversation starters had been dismissed, he knew the best place to do it. Especially as it was a place that meant a lot to him.

* * *

Jill hung up the call and put her phone back into her coat pocket. She stood up from the bleachers and wiped a few specks of dirt from the back of it. She glanced over at Roger and saw that he was still taking his call. She had been grateful for the interruption as it had given her the chance to quieten her whirling mind. She'd known for certain that the thin layer of attraction between them had bloomed into something deeper on her side, but this had been the clearest indication that he was feeling the same way. He'd all but spelled it out in bright neon letters. She had meant it when she'd said it could never work and yet she was certain that if they hadn't been interrupted, that thin line would have been obliterated and their relationship would be changed. For better or worse she wasn't sure, but changed all the same.

“Time to stop ignoring the day jobs?” Jill commented as she watched him put his phone back in his coat.

“It would seem so.”

They walked side by side out of the park, silence prevalent between them. Neither really knew quite what to say. Before the interruption it hadn't exactly been a light conversation. Both sharing things that they'd never talked about before. Even if they could slip back into easy conversation, something had shifted between them. Now it was just a question of when – not if – they'd finally cross that line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they've had their grand day out and the sparks are coming thick and fast. Just a question of when the spark will catch. And I think we all know when that will be.
> 
> Thanks for reading and let me know what you thought.


	11. I Don't Want You Like A Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which all those sparks flying between them finally catch and that thin line between friends and more goes bye bye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually had this chapter written since before this fic was even started - mostly cos this was the original piece I was going to publish as a standalone before it became this multi-chaptered thing, so I've been waiting a while to publish this bit and it only took a little tweaking. Anyway, this is probably a little bit of canon divergence as we don't know how they actually got together (though it is fun to consider the possibilities), and this is ended up way more fluffy and slightly romantic than I originally planned it to be. 
> 
> Takes place between episodes 9 & 10, and is the longest chapter so far. Chapter title comes from 'Dress' by Taylor Swift.

It had been the day from hell. Even with a plea deal in place, Jill's client was still looking at significant jail time. Not to mention, most of the team had been thoroughly quashed by their opponents, leaving a sombre and dejected air hanging over the office. A glance out into the outer office, showed several despondent reactions. Jill sighed as she stood up and gathered her things. There wasn't much that she could say or do that could make them feel better. She switched off the lights in her office and walked into the main area.

“Okay,” Jill said, causing them all to look up. “Today was tough. Probably one of the toughest that we've had for a very long while. They won't all be like this. So go home, get some sleep, get drunk, whatever. Come back refreshed and ready for combat tomorrow.”

They nodded in response, some even gave her small smiles that she returned. She turned and walked out of the office. As she walked out of the office building, her phone pinged signalling that she had a new message. She pulled it out from pocket and looked at the notification on the lock screen. She saw that it was from Roger and contained just one word: _'Drink?'_

For a moment, Jill contemplated not responding, or even coming up with an excuse. She'd always been aware of the sliver of something between them, but when she took recent events into consideration, it felt as though they were balancing on a tightrope. One that Jill – if she was totally honest with herself – was completely terrified of falling off of, fearing that things would never be the same again. As much as she might want them to be more, _want him_ , she felt like limiting her time around Roger would help until she trusted herself. Yet after the day she'd had, she really didn't fancy drinking by herself. She pulled open the messaging app and typed one word, before she hit send: _'Where?'_

-x-x-

As he watched Delap walk back out of his office, Roger slumped back in his chair. There was never any love lost between them, even back when they were AUSA's together. Roger had always noticed a thin layer of condescension to everything the man had ever said to him. It was as though Delap believed Roger to be beneath him. Something that Roger felt was due to the brief time when he'd been the 'golden boy' of the Criminal Division, and Delap really hadn't liked that. Roger sighed as he shut down his computer. He wondered if there was a bar that would allow him to put a picture of his boss on the centre of a dartboard.

As they had begun to do with a frequency that alarmed him a little, Roger found his thoughts turning to his counterpart across the square. The past couple of months and especially since their day out in Westchester, and their confessions in that dimly lit baseball field, they had been walking a fine line. He knew that had they not been interrupted something would have happened between them that night. As much as he had wished that something had happened, he was glad that it hadn't. Despite wanting them to be more, _wanting her_ , he was terrified of somehow screwing things up between them. And he couldn't fathom not having Jill in his life. As he picked up his briefcase, he also pulled out his phone and sent a message to Jill: _'Drink?'_

He pulled on his coat and watched as the dots appeared, signalling she was typing a response. After what felt like the longest minute in all recorded history, her reply came through, also containing one word: _'Where?'_

* * *

Jill pulled her coat tighter around her as she stood outside the bar. Rather than suggest they meet up right away, Roger had suggested meeting up in an hour. Though she'd been thrown by the suggestion, Jill had returned to her apartment, dumped her work bag on the counter, switched it with a smaller bag and freshened up a little before heading back out. She looked up and down the side walk for a glimpse of the familiar figure. She smiled as she caught sight of him and raised a hand in greeting. She tried – and failed – to ignore the butterflies that had suddenly swarmed at the sight of him and the smile that he'd given in response. She noticed that he had lost both his tie and briefcase. Yet despite looking relaxed, she could tell that it hadn't been that good of a day for him either.

“One of those days too?” Jill asked with a soft smile.

“Yeah,” he nodded, before he opened the door. “If I snapped, would you defend me?”

-x-x-

“It just gets to me sometimes you know?” she commented as she took a sip of her wine. “They worked their asses off and they just get knocked down.”

Roger nodded in understanding, as he set his glass back down on the table, before he glanced around the bar. When they'd first arrived it hadn't been that busy, but it had picked up a lot in the past couple of hours. He was thankful that they'd been able to snag one of the booths near the back of the bar. Though for some reason that neither had figured out – or wanted to examine too closely - they were both sitting on the same side of the booth. He had one arm resting against the back of the booth, his body slightly angled towards her. Jill had her elbow on the back, occasionally resting her head on her hand, legs, tucked beneath her, facing him fully.

“I'm sure tomorrow, you will all be fighting again,” he commented. “I'll deny it if I'm ever asked, but you and your group are some of the best and most hard working lawyers Manhattan has to offer. Your clients are lucky to have you in their corner.”

“Thank you,” Jill smiled. They continued to stare at each other for several charged minutes. Intensity growing with every passing second. Jill coughed lightly and turned her attention to the table. With a shaky hand, she raised her glass and downed the rest of her drink. She moved to pick up the bottle to refill her glass when she noticed that it was empty. “Do you want to get another bottle?”

Roger shook his head. “Let's go for a walk, its a nice night.”

“Okay,” she said as they stood up from the booth. As they weaved through the crowd, she was very much aware of Roger's hand on the small of her back. Where it had annoyed her with Cliff, she found she didn't mind at all when Roger did it.

The cool night air caressed their cheeks as they emerged from the building. Though they weren't stood as close as they had been when leaving the bar, there was still closeness between them as they walked to the small park. The silence wasn't as uncomfortable as it could have been, it just felt natural. They reached the park and sat on the nearest bench. As cars sped by and sounds of Manhattan provided the soundtrack, Jill glanced over at Roger who was looking up at the night sky. Not for the first time that evening, one thought in particular crossed her mind.

“Can I ask you something?” Roger nodded and she took several steadying breaths. Once it was out there, there would be no going back. “Was this a date?” Jill's heart raced as she waited for him to answer her. “You know what? Forget I said anything,” she stood and started to walk away.

Roger sat there slightly dazed. Out of everything, he thought she would ask, that had not been his top guess. Now that he thought about it though, it had been very similar to a date. Sure they'd commiserated each other over their respective days, but everything else had been extremely date like. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about asking her out properly, he just thought he'd be turned down flat. He saw her stand up and walk away, he quickly followed her and grabbed her hand, turning her back to face him.

“What if I don't want to forget what you asked?” he asked, “what if I said that despite not planning it to be, this was a date.”

Jill met his gaze and felt all the build up of the previous couple of weeks converge. She removed her hands from his hold. Before she could second guess herself, she reached up and lightly brushed her lips against his. She pulled back slightly to study his reaction. They stared at each other for a few seconds, both contemplating the invisible line that had just been crossed. Roger moved his hands so that they were wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, while Jill moved hers so they were around his neck. Once again their lips met but this time it was different. After a few seconds it was as though a switch had been flipped inside of them as the kiss deepened and they tried to get closer than they already were. Every little thing that had felt off kilter in the past few days, suddenly felt right again. As she felt his hands slip beneath the fabric of her coat and the warmth of his hands seep through her shirt, she moaned into the kiss. When the need for air caused them to break apart, they stood exchanging charged glances and shy smiles, still holding each other close.

“Well, I wasn't expecting that,” Roger commented causing Jill to roll her eyes at him. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “So, what now?”

-x-x-

The last vestiges of sleep left her subconscious, and as she felt the faint sliver of sunlight, Jill turned over and found herself rolling against someone else. It startled her for a moment, before the memories came flooding back. When she'd thought about this moment before – very occasionally, usually after they'd gone up against each other in the courtroom – it was always with some degree of embarrassment, regret or awkwardness, yet currently, she felt nothing but calm. Not to mention loose limbed and sated.

“It's rude to stare.”

“I wasn't.”

Roger rolled onto his side so that he was facing her. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“No regrets about last night?” he asked, a slight hint of worry creeping into his voice. They had moved a little fast, both trying to not second guess themselves, even though they'd both been clear headed and certain.

“None whatsoever,” she replied with a smile. He leaned in and kissed her lightly. Within seconds it had heated up. “We don't have time for this,” Jill commented, only half serious as she pulled back slightly and looking up at him as he held himself above her. “I have to get home, to get ready for work,” she said half heartedly not actually doing anything to stop his ministrations. She knew she wanted this as much as he did. Could _feel_ how much they both wanted to continue. If she arrived at work a little later than usual, the world wouldn't completely fall apart.

Roger glanced over at his watch on the bedside table. “We've got time,” he commented with a roguish grin. She gave a low laugh before she pulled him down so she could kiss him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, let me know what you thought.
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you're all keeping well under the current circumstances.


	12. At The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they discuss where their relationship will go from here and share omelettes at midnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slight bridging chapter between the two halves of the story as within the next chapters we're moving into season 2 territory and things will get a little angsty in places. But that's the future, this chapter is just some cute fluff as the relationship begins.
> 
> Reading this over, I've realised I've (unintentionally) referenced the title of a favourite song of mine. Though it's fairly obscure, unless you're a fan of British pop music and I like to think of it as a little easter egg that takes no focus from the story at all.
> 
> Anyway, this takes place somewhere in the middle of episode 10 of season 1.

Roger drummed his fingers against the cover of his book and sighed. He was well aware that he'd been reading it – or at least attempting to – for the past couple of hours. He closed it forcefully and set it on the table, turning his attention to the window. Not that he could focus on any particular spot, his mind was too focused on the vents of the previous night. Roger had heard the mumblings in the office about his sudden good mood, yet he couldn't find it in him to mind, not when he'd been feeling cheerful. Now though that mood had evaporated and replaced with a slight hint of worry. He hadn't heard from Jill all day. Last night – or earlier that morning, he wasn't totally sure – she had commented that it was fun, for now. But after that she'd given him no indication of when she'd next see him outside of work. So, in the clear light of the day, he had found himself wondering if she was having second thoughts about the two of them. Though he dismissed it a little knowing that if Jill was doubting things, she would at least call him.

Roger shook his head as he stood up, he did not spend time ruminating on relationships – the final six months of his marriage aside – and yet it was all he could find himself thinking about. The harsh sound of the intercom systems startled him out of his thoughts.

“Hello,” he said as he pressed the speaker button.

“Its me.”

Roger let out a breath he didn't know that he'd been holding at the sound of her voice. “Come on up.”

He checked his hair in the picture frame and nodded when he deemed it acceptable. He thought about putting the door on the latch, but worried that it might look as though he was too eager. Roger frowned at that particular line of thought, how was it too eager if he already knew she was coming up? Before he could further second guess himself, he heard three sharp raps on the door.

“Hey,” he said as he opened the door.

“Hey,” Jill smiled. “I hope you don't mind that I just dropped by.”

“Not at all,” he replied, stepping aside so that she could walk in. “Come by anytime you like,” he added as he took her coat from her and hung it on the coat rack, along with her bag.

“I just might take you up on that,” she smiled reaching up and kissing him. As it deepened, Jill found herself loosely pinned against the door as she matched his intensity. Roger's hands found their way beneath her top to stroke at the bare skin. One kiss became two before they broke the kiss, though still maintaining closeness. “I came here to talk,” she said causing him to look at her searchingly. “About this, about us,” she clarified and he gave her a soft smile that was almost bashful. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replied before he leaned in and kissed her softly, gently. After a few moments, Jill tightened her hold on him as she sought to deepen the kiss. One hand snaked underneath his t-shirt, while the other found its way into his hair.

“I thought that you wanted to talk,” Roger stated as he pulled back slightly.

“Talking can wait a bit,” she shrugged. The kisses that they'd shared since she'd arrived – though varying in intensity – had gotten her all worked up and she knew that she wouldn't be able to talk as seriously as she needed to if she was keyed up. Jill could tell by the way that his eyes had darkened to a deeper shade of blue, that he was as affected as she was.

“Are you sure?”

“Very much so,” she nodded. She let out a gasp of surprise as he lifted her slightly so that they were practically the same height. She couldn't help but let out a low chuckle at his actions it was so unlike him, but she found she rather liked it. She shifted slightly so that her arms were once again around his neck. She leaned in and kissed him lightly. As the kiss intensified, she tightened her hold on him as he carried her towards his bedroom.

-x-x-x-x-

A soft orange glow from the street lamps and the low glare from the TV, provided the only light in the room as Jill mindlessly listened to the presenters on SportsCenter. She looked at the cuffs of the shirt that he'd given her to wear, the sleeves rolled back to her forearms. She wondered why she hadn't thought to slip a change of clothes into her bag. But then it had been a rather spur of the moment decision to come by when she could've just rang him. Though she had to admit, she wasn't exactly going to mind making a detour to her apartment on the way to work.

“Not exactly five star cuisine,” Roger said as he walked in carrying two plates.

“Don't sell yourself short,” Jill smiled as she took one of the plates off of him. “I quite like the idea of omelettes at midnight.”

"Maybe it could be our thing,” Roger commented with a small smile.

She smiled back. “Maybe.”

They slipped into a comfortable silence as they ate, listening to the presenters give updates on the various games that had been played today as well as which players were on the injured lists.

“So, you said you wanted to talk,” he said as he set his plate down on the coffee table.

“I did,” she nodded as she mirrored his earlier actions. “You know set some ground rules.”

“Well, that's romantic.”

“You know what I mean,” Jill commented pushing his arm lightly. “We've established that we like each other, the attraction is definitely there. In normal circumstances this is the part where we'd start dating, but that's not really an option for us. Not conventionally anyway,” she paused watching him nod his understanding. “I'm not saying we can't go out, we just have to be extremely careful.”

“So I can take you out to dinner on Saturday?”

“I would like that,” she replied with a soft smile, as she toyed with the hem of the shirt. “But at the office, we're just friendly adversaries that go to baseball games, got it.”

“Understood,” he said placing his arm across the back of the couch. Jill shifted slightly, so she was leant against his side. As he tightened his hold slightly, she couldn't help but think about the last time they'd been in a similar position, outside of Chloe Daniel's apartment. Of course now things had changed between them but much like it had been that night, it felt nice to be held by someone that cared. She curled closer, smiling as she felt his lips against her hair and hoped this was the first of many nights they spent like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, can't wait to hear your thoughts and I hope you're all staying safe and keeping well.


	13. They Got No Idea, About Me and You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three little scenes set between seasons 1 and 2. Basically fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, this is just pure fluff. Just a few glimpses into life in between seasons 1 & 2 and what their relationship was like in between the seasons.
> 
> Title - once again - comes from the song 'Dress' by Taylor Swift.

Roger stood outside the restaurant as he waited for Jill to arrive. When he'd messaged her to say that he was on his way to the restaurant, she had responded that she was still getting ready, but would be leaving within ten minutes or so. He'd calculated that it shouldn't take her that long to get here from her apartment So, he wasn't entirely sure why she wasn't here yet. As he pulled out his phone to contact her, a taxi pulled up at the curb, through the window he recognised the familiar sight of her as she leaned forward to pay the driver.

He watched as she got out of the taxi and she gave him a beaming smile. His eyes travelled over her, noticing that she was wearing a completely different outfit to what she'd been wearing earlier. She wore a deep red dress that came to a stop just above her knee, accentuated with a black wrap, small clutch and black heels. Though the dress had a high neckline, he still found it tantalising, especially once he caught sight of the zips on the side of the skirt.

“I wish I'd made an effort now,” he said with a slight pout. Jill shook her head, before she made an obvious show of checking him out, taking in the navy suit, with a white shirt open at the collar.

“Looks good to me,” she smirked, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. They broke apart, and smiled softly at each other.

“Shall we?”

“Yes,” she replied. She pulled her wrap tighter as they walked inside, his hand on the small of her back.

They were shown to their table, quite quickly considering the number of people waiting at the bar. Jill wasn't entirely sure how Roger had managed it, but he'd gotten them a table in the back, where they wouldn't be seen by anyone they knew, should they come in.

“You're really pushing the boat out aren't you?” she reached over and took his hand. “You don't have to impress me.”

“But I want to,” he said raising her hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to her palm.

“Then go ahead, impress me,” she said with a soft smile. It'd been a while since anyone had wanted to impress her – in a romantic context – so she was more than willing to see what Roger would come up with.

Dinner passed swiftly not that either of them paid attention to the meal itself. Both were enjoying the fact that they were able to actually be out in the open and not hide their relationship. Even though tomorrow they'd go back to their usual routine of keeping the relationship behind closed doors. She finished off her wine as the waiter returned with Roger's card.

“So, what's next?” Jill asked as they left the restaurant.

“Since I'm impressing you,” he said, “I was thinking we might tale a walk along the waterfront.”

“That sounds lovely,” she smiled as she took his hand, lacing her fingers with his.

The lights from both the city and New Jersey reflected in the water as they leant against the railings. A light breeze whipped between them, causing Jill to shiver as she began to rethink her outfit choice. She pulled her wrap tighter around her, only for Roger to place his arm around her waist and pull her against his side.

“You're very good at this whole impressing me thing.”

“Well, I have been planning this for a while now.”

Jill looked up at him. “And how long have you been planning this exactly?”

“This night?” he asked. “Most of the week. To ask you out, a good couple of months,” he added. “Maybe a bit longer.”

“That long huh?” Jill asked as she turned to face him fully, a soft smile on her face. Before he could respond to her query, she leaned in and kissed him. His hands came to settle on her waist, pulling her even closer, while her arms rested around his neck.

* * *

“You've redecorated.”

Jill looked up from the file she was reading to see Roger stood in the doorway, looking at the warmer colours that the offices had been painted. “You knew we were. Its why I spent last week, taking meetings on the second floor,” she frowned slightly. “Did we have a meeting scheduled?”

“I heard about what happened with the Suarez case,” he replied. “I wanted to see if you were okay,” he added, placing his hand over hers.

“Someone might see,” she hissed as she pulled her hand out from under his.

“Who? The cleaners?” Roger commented with a small smile. “Its half 7, everyone else has gone home.”

Jill turned to look into the outer office and noticed that it was in darkness. She hadn't realised that, that much time had passed since she'd returned to the office. Though to be fair, she had spent most of that time lost in her own thoughts.

“So, how are you doing?” he asked as he sat opposite her.

“Truthfully, I don't want to talk about it,” she sighed. “Not right now.”

Roger studied her face for a few moments before he nodded and stood up. “Okay. Come over to mine when you're finished. I'll help take your mind off of it.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, getting a mere smile in response before he turned and left the office. Jill watched him leave, a small smile on her lips. She wondered exactly what it was he was planning. After their first date the other week, she'd given him the go ahead to impress her, he had been doing a pretty good job of it. Though they were limited by virtue of their relationship being hidden and the nature of the jobs, he still had found ways around it.

An hour later, she walked down the corridor towards his apartment, smiling when she saw the door stood ajar. She pushed it open, and closed it behind her, hanging up her coat as she did so. She walked into the kitchen to see that he had put two candles on the island, and had set two places. Jill smiled at the sight, he was definitely doing a good job.

“I take it you approve,” Roger asked as he turned to face her, holding out a single tulip. She smiled at the fact that he'd remembered what her favourite flower was.

“I do,” Jill nodded as she took the flower from him, before she hooked her arms around his neck. “Definitely makes a rubbish day that much better,” she pecked his lips lightly.

“Dinner will probably be about half an hour,” he replied.

“Anything I can do to help?”

Roger shook his head. “This is something I'm doing for you, go put your feet up, just relax.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” he nodded. “I'll come get you when its ready,” he added giving her a quick kiss before he turned her in the direction of the hallway.

* * *

Jill looked down the street for any sign of Roger. He had messaged her to say that he was running late, but that he'd be there soon. She wasn't entirely sure why he'd asked her to meet him there. Though she did have a bit of an inkling to the why considering that he'd asked her to wear something comfortable and they were at a batting cage. She could only surmise that it was something to do with the upcoming softball game between their offices. This year Jill was determined that the Public Defenders would win. Last year would've been a humiliating defeat if the US Attorney's office hadn't lost their last game. So she wasn't entirely surprised that he had thought of this.

Jill smiled as she caught sight of him walking towards her. She took in the workout gear he was wearing and internally told herself to get a grip, she was not a hormonal teenager. As he drew near, Jill took advantage of the fact that they were far away from anyone that might recognise them, and practically threw herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a deep kiss.

“Hello to you too,” Roger said with a smug smile. He'd always suspected that she found him irresistible, now he had irrefutable proof of the fact. He was also tempted to forego the plans he'd made and just have them go back to his apartment.

Though Roger had planned for the two of them to just work on their batting skills – not that that they'd required much fine tuning if he did say so himself – it had quickly devolved into a competition of seeing who could make the most hits. 

Despite his best attempts to distract her, Jill had managed to hit 34 balls out of 40. He, however, had to hit two more balls before he beat her, and was wondering just how she was going to get him back for distracting her. She'd been watching him from the sidelines, not actually doing anything. If he was honest with himself, it was a little disconcerting. She was just as competitive as he was, so he assumed that she would've been distracting him from the minute he took hold of the bat. As he was about to hit his 33rd ball, out of the corner of his eye, he saw her remove the hooded top she was wearing to reveal a white tank top. He could see the outline of the ice blue bra as she stretched out.

“Ha!” she exclaimed as he missed the last ball. “I do believe that makes me the winner.”

“I believe you cheated,” he smiled. “Don't think I didn't notice that little stunt you just pulled.”

“It's hot in here,” Jill commented. “Its not like I stripped down to my underwear and paraded in front of you.”

Roger could practically hear his brain short circuit at the mental image and knew what would now more than likely appear in his dreams that night. “That would probably have gotten us kicked out of here. And you need to practice if you want to bear us in the softball game.

“We'll win anyway, your side stinks,” Jill smirked. “Last year was terrible.”

“Maybe its not our sides that are terrible, its having Byrne as an umpire.”

“Now you're just being silly,” she laughed as she picked up her bag. "And don't like the fact that your team is currently the worst in the league."

"Your team is two points ahead of us, it could be you coming last this year."

-x-

Its several hours later, when Roger brings up the topic of the softball game again. They're lying on his couch watching a movie, empty takeaway boxes on the coffee table.

“You know, both our teams stink right?”

“They definitely do,” Jill said as she turned to face him. "But we're the best players on our teams.”

“Of course we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you liked it and are looking forward to seeing the missing moments from season 2. Is there anything you're hoping to see?


	14. Sat On The Roof You and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jill's annoyed and Roger opens up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a slightly difficult chapter for me to write, I must have rewrote the conversation they have several times and this is the version I like the best, so I hope you like it to.
> 
> Chapter title comes from the song 'Cornelia Street' by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Takes place in the middle of 2x01, the day - well night actually - after the swatting.

Jill lay looking up at the ceiling. It had been a long day and it had started to feel like it would be the longest week on record. Things had been going fine until this case and everything that went with it. She knew it was extremely petty of her, but she'd been ignoring Roger's calls all evening. Just like he'd been avoiding hers all day. She knew he was dealing with a lot, she was dealing with the exact same problems. Not only was her office defending Julian Sarco, but she had also been with him during the swatting. And she was wondering if her reluctance to fight the additional charges had anything to do with a smaller and pettier part of her that screamed for vengeance about the whole incident and the sheer terror they'd experienced. So she was fairly certain, he could at least answer one of her calls. Especially since he'd been quiet since they'd left the diner that morning, rarely speaking except in short sentences. Jill sighed deeply and rolled over, growing bored of studying the patterns in the ceiling tiles. Despite her tiredness, sleep still felt a long way off.

She had just gotten herself comfortable when her room was lit up by the glow of her phone as it rang. Jill reached over and picked it up from the night stand. She sighed as she saw who was calling. For a moment, her finger hovered over the dismiss button, but instead she pressed the answer button.

“Hello,” she sighed wearily.

“Finally taking my calls then.”

“I could say the same to you.”

“I deserved that,” Roger commented. Even though she couldn't see his face, she could tell he was probably wearing a remorseful expression.

“Where are you?” she asked as she heard the traffic in the background.

“Outside your building.”

Jill threw back the covers and walked over to the window and looked down at the street. Sure enough there was, stood looking up at her. “Are you crazy?”

“I couldn't sleep, so I took a walk and found myself here.”

“You walked here in the middle of the night?” she asked incredulously, knowing it took a good 45 minutes on foot to get from his apartment to hers. “After all of the times you've warned me about going home by myself at night.”

“I'm not a target like you would be.”

“Oh don't give me that,” Jill sighed. “If you worry about me walking home late at night, I get to worry about you.”

“You worry about me?”

“Shut up,” she commented with a roll of her eyes. “Are you going to come up or not?”

-x-

Roger walked into the apartment and looked around. It was the first time he'd actually been inside. Most of their time was spent at his apartment, and on the rare instances when she'd gone home after a date, he'd dropped her off at her apartment with a few goodnight kisses outside the building. His main thought was about how small it was compared to his. Though he could definitely see aspects of Jill's personality all over it.

“How can you manage in such a small place?”

“If you want to insult my home,” Jill commented as she sat on the sofa, beside a wall to wall window. “Do it some other time, I'm not in the mood right now.”

Roger nodded thoughtfully, he knew all too well exactly what sort of mood she was referring to. He sat down beside her. Despite the slight weirdness between them at the moment, Jill found it slightly amusing that he reached out to take her hand, but then pulled it back as thought he was worried about her reaction.

“About today, I know I've been distant...”

“Actually, let's not do this here,” she said as she stood up. She gave him a soft smile and held out a hand to him. She pulled him up and led him back towards the front door, stopping to pick up her door keys and a coat to cover her pyjamas.

After leading him up a few flights of stairs, Jill pushed open the door, revealing a small rooftop garden with a selection of chairs and couches. A high trellis lined the entire wall to prevent people reaching the ledge, it was covered in flowers and a couple rows of stringed lights. Jill was grateful that she lived in one of the few buildings in the city that allowed rooftop access.

“Its a nice set up you got here,” he commented as he sat down.

“Hmm,” she nodded sitting down beside him. “Well worth the extra $100 a month on top of rent, especially in the summer. So, you were saying?”

“Oh right,” Roger replied, for a moment, he'd forgotten that they were up there to talk, not to enjoy a quiet evening. “I know I've been distant but its been a weird sort of day.”

“That's not a reason.”

“I know,” he agreed, he took her hand, grateful that she didn't pull away from him. “Obviously you can understand how last night was easily the most terrifying experience of my life and not just in a having a gun pointed at your head kind of way, I mean it was, but what was truly terrifying was that you were there,” he paused and looked up at her. Jill gave him a soft smile and squeezed his hand reassuringly. “You are fast becoming someone that I care about deeply and I could never, would never forgive myself if something happened to you as a result of something I did,” he added. “I definitely shouldn't have been ignoring you or your phone calls today. But I didn't know how to speak to you or what I would say, not with the frame of mind I was in. I needed to make sure I knew exactly how I was going to go about this,” he looked up at her. “I'm sorry, if anyone could've helped me figure things it would've been you. We both experienced it.”

“I'm sorry too,” she sighed. “I probably shouldn't have ignored you either.”

There was more that both wanted to say, but as it pertained to the Sarco case they couldn't. It was enough for the moment 

“Just don't shut me out again,” she said. Roger could see an underlying sadness in her eyes. He got the impression that it was something she had experience of in the past. “This, whatever it is, it can't work if we behave like that,” she added. “If its work stuff I know we can't talk about, but anything else that's troubling you, I'll want to know, help anyway I can.”

“It goes both ways though.”

Jill nodded her agreement, and leaned in, kissing him lightly, before she pulled back, smiling as his thumb rubbed over the apple of her cheek. After a few moments, she pulled back from him, and stood up, holding out a hand to him.

“Come on,” she said. “It's cold up here, warm downstairs, we've both had not great days and you interrupted my sleep by calling me. The least you can do is stay the night,” she added her eyes shining with amusement.

“You weren't sleeping,” Roger commented taking her hand and letting her pull him up. “You answered the phone far too quickly.”

She shook her head at him before leading him back inside. With the trial a couple of days away tonight would be just for them, hopefully undoing the pain and worry of the previous night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you liked it and are keeping safe and well.


	15. The Brooding Prosecutor pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Roger has a few things on his mind, this time he has Jill to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a strong contender for my favourite chapter in this story. But two later chapters pip it to the post. However, enough of that, I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> And the brooding prosecutor is back (I just really loved that title and wanted to use it again). 
> 
> This is set in the middle of 2x02, after the stand-off in the courthouse.

He was making a habit of this, Roger mused as he looked out of the city from a window in his apartment, glass of whiskey in hand. Only this time he wasn't ruminating on the words of a grieving son, but the potential outcomes of today's events and the words of a pissed off public defender.

“You okay?” Jill asked as she came to stand beside him, a hand resting between his shoulder blades.

Roger nodded. “Fine,” he paused. “Just...I help people don't I? I get justice right?”

“What's brought this on?” Jill frowned. She felt like making a quip but could tell by the look on his face it may not be the best moment to do it.

“Something one of your public defenders said to me.”

“What did Jay say?”

“When he and Leonard came to me for help, I said I'd call over to ICE and that I didn't think it would help. He said he worked across the street so that he could help.”

“Ah,” Jill murmured. She rubbed soothing circles on his back. “Well, he was just angry at the situation. And yes our offices do have their differences, but you do help. You get justice for your clients. Even if I don't usually like the outcomes,” she kissed him lightly. “I'm going to bed. You coming?”

“In a bit. I just want to brood silently for a bit longer.”

Jill studied him for a moment, bottom lip between her teeth, before she nodded and turned around. She trusted that he'd talk to her if there was more on his mind that he hadn't shared with her. She'd barely gotten more than a few steps away from him, when he reached out and took her hand. Jill turned back to look at him an eyebrow raised.

“Thank you,” he murmured as he raised the hand and pressed a kiss to her palm.

She moved closer rested the same hand against his cheek, and stroked it lightly before she leaned in, giving him a gentle kiss. She pulled back and gave him a soft smile before she turned and headed towards the bedroom.

-x-

Roger walked into the bedroom half an hour later, expecting to find her already half asleep. Instead, she was sat up, phone in hand, fingers flying over the screen as she typed.

“Everything okay?”

Jill looked up and nodded. “Just checking in with Sandra. I booked her and Ted on the 6am flight to Arizona, we're just going over some last minute checks.”

“Do you think it'll work?”

“I hope so,” she sighed as she set her phone on the bedside table. “But I can't say I feel too optimistic, you and I both know how difficult these cases are.”

“I really hope it does,” he commented as he got into bed and looked up at the ceiling, one arm under his head. “I hate to think of a child being torn apart from a parent.”

“That's because you're one of the good guys,” Jill smiled rolling over, so her head was against his chest, her arm slung over his waist. She curled closer as he moved his arm so it was wrapped around her. “Underneath the ego, and the prosecutor image, you care about people, you care about the things that matter. I couldn't be with you if you didn't.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he felt a burst of deep affection take root in his heart. He didn't know what it was but something about her presence made him feel better. He smiled as her cheek rubbed against his chest as she tried to get comfortable.

“Comfortable yet?”

“Yes,” she replied, feeling him chuckle lowly.

* * *

Sleep had proved to be elusive. His mind couldn't stop thinking about the potential ways that it could all go wrong in the coming days. Not that he didn't think Sandra would do a good job, but he knew what immigration judges were like and he wouldn't wish them on anyone. Sleep also wasn't helped by faint memories of the swatting and the ways that it could all have gone wrong. He rolled over and got out of the bed.

“What is it?” Jill asked, her words muffled by the pillow.

“Nothing,” he replied. “Just going to get a glass of water.”

Roger walked into the kitchen and got himself the drink before he walked into the living room. He could usually find something to watch on TV at this early hour. It usually helped him find some element of sleep and if it didn't, well, he'd just find the time take a few naps during the day. It had been a long time since he'd last faced a mild bout of sleeplessness. If he woke up in the middle of the night, it was usually a case of back to sleep within minutes, but this was different altogether. He was halfway through an old episode of Wonder Woman when he felt the couch dip beside him.

“I thought you were only getting a drink?”

“Couldn't sleep,” he replied wearily waiting for the follow up question but it never came. He slipped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him, her head coming to rest against his chest. They sat in silence watching but not taking in the action.

“Bad dreams, or the endless ways it could go wrong for both Tina and the Garcia's?”

“A little of both.”

“With me its usually cases or worries about Tori,” she said thoughtfully. “I told you I don't sleep much.”

“Has that always been the case?” he asked wishing that there was some way he could take her worries away.

“A little,” she sighed. “Cliff never quite understood why. Back then cases were 'simple' and my sister was still living with our mom, so he didn’t understand why there were times when I'd just lay awake, staring at the ceiling."

Roger didn't quite know how to respond, so he settled for tightening his hold on her. He smiled as she responded in kind, unsure whether she was seeking comfort or giving it to him. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head as they watched the show. Both hoping tomorrow would bring better sleep. He pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa and wrapped it around them both as they whiled away the hours until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it.
> 
> Stay safe and healthy.


	16. Rainy Evenings and Lucky Charms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a rainy evening leads to discussions about what they consider to be lucky charms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I think it has its charms. Anyway I hope you all like it.
> 
> Chapter takes place somewhere in the middle of 2x03.

Jill loved the peacefulness of Central Park in the evenings. As much as she was able, she loved walking through the park. The sounds of the city melted away and it had a way of making you feel as though you had been transported to another realm. It was especially nice on nights when she got to share it with Roger. They didn't do it every night, but once every week or so, they'd drop their bags off at one of their apartments and then go for a walk. Due to its distance from the courthouse, their offices and anyone that might spot them, they frequently walked hand in hand, a luxury they rarely afforded themselves in public.

“What on Earth was that phonecall about earlier?” Roger asked as they walked past the Alice In Wonderland sculpture.

“Jay took Allison's route from her,” Jill smiled. “He won, she lost and didn't quite believe in the superstitions.”

“Does she believe now?”

“I'm not entirely sure,” Jill shrugged. “She still seemed a little sceptical, and I think Jay is about two steps away from performing a ritual sacrifice.”

“Well, if this incident does see a decrease in her win rate, my office will be very happy,” he commented with a smirk. Jill used her free hand to push against his shoulder before she leaned her head against his shoulder.

They continued their walk in silence, both enjoying the quiet evening and being near each other. In the distance both could see grey clouds slowly building, as well as something that sounded a lot like thunder.

“Think it'll hold off until we get back?” Roger asked, neither had brought an umbrella with them, not thinking it was needed.

“God I hope so.”

Sadly it was not to be.

They managed to leave the park, cross the road and turned onto Jill's street, when the first drop hit, before turning to a deluge. Heavy rain drops hitting the pavement in quick succession.

“Make a run for it?” Jill asked biting her lip.

“No choice but to.”

They hurried down the entire length of the street laughing – even if Roger grumbled a little about the distance – as they tried not to slip and dodged the various people huddled underneath their umbrellas. They made it back to her apartment building and hurried inside, relieved that they were only relatively soaked, not completely drenched. They walked across the lobby towards the elevator bank, they got into the elevator and Jill found herself pinned against the wall as Roger kissed her lightly. She wrapped her arms around him as the kiss deepened, yet still being mindful of the fact that they were in an elevator and anyone could get on. They pulled apart as the elevator dinged and the doors opened on Jill's floor. They walked down the corridor, and Jill fumbled with her keys as she pulled them out of her coat pocket, well aware of Roger's breath against the back of her neck and his hand on her waist. She eventually got the door open and they walked inside, both ken to get out of their wet clothes. They hung their jackets up in the small coat closet to dry. She turned back to face and hooked her arms around his neck. She pecked his lips lightly as her fingers stroked the back of his neck.

“I think we need to get warm,” she commented pulling back slightly, though close enough that their breaths were still mingling.

“And just how do you suggest we do that?” he asked. “I don't think you want wet clothes lying about on your floors.”

“True, but I do have radiators to put them on and a shower that has plenty of hot water.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

* * *

By the time that they'd finished their lengthy – and extremely pleasurable – shower and ordered take-out from the Japanese restaurant a couple of streets away, the downpour had turned to a fairly gentle shower. Roger was glad that he had a change of clothes there as it meant he didn't have to wear slightly damp clothing – or just a towel, however much Jill may have wanted him to. They were sat on the couch, some comedy playing on the TV while listening to the gentle patter of raindrops against the window.

“Do you have any superstitions, rituals or lucky items?”

“Why?” Jill asked, looking over at him. “Going to try and steal it?”

“Maybe,” he joked. “Just curious. I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours.”

“Not entirely sure that's how the saying goes,” Jill commented shaking her head. “But if you insist. In my bag there is a jade hair clip, can't have cost more than twenty cents at some county fair I'd been dragged to when I was 16. It was with me all the way through SATs, college, law school. I've took it everywhere. My first day in the Mother Court, I had my tied up with the clip in it. In the end I changed my mind and took it out, slipping it into my bag. I got a continuance from a judge, my boss had told me was the biggest hard ass in the Federal Courts. That was my first 'win'. Its stayed with me ever since,” she added. “So, come on, what's yours?”

Roger set his empty container on the small coffee table before he stood up and walked over to his briefcase. He opened it up and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He walked back to the couch and unfolded it showing it to Jill. She saw that it was a drawing of a tall figure, holding the hands of two smaller figures, with the words ' _good luck daddy_ ' scrawled across the top.

“The day before one of the hardest trials I have ever had, I came home from work and found this waiting for me. Sophie can't have been more than 4 years old and I don't know whether she guessed or Renee told her, but I put it in my bag. The next day, the trial started, and I just kept hitting home runs. Covington didn't know what had hit him.”

“That's actually adorable,” she smiled as Roger put it back in his briefcase. “Who'd have guessed that the big tough Roger Gunn, was so sentimental.”

Roger turned back to look at her. He'd known her long enough to know exactly what her teasing looked and sounded like. “Only for three people,” he said giving her a significant look.

Jill couldn't help but blush. She knew for a fact that two of the people in question were Maggie and Sophie. But the look he was giving her, left her in no doubt who the third person was. She looked up and met his bashful gaze. She stood up, turned off the TV and walked over to him. She pulled him close and kissed him deeply. His hands automatically came to rest on her waist, as he pulled her even closer.

“I really meant that,” he said pulling back, letting her see the absolute sincerity in his eyes.

“I know you did,” she smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you all liked it and you're keeping safe and entertained under current circumstances.


	17. May You Find Some Comfort Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During and after the Steve Caldwell case, Roger provides a source of comfort for Jill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter in this whole fic. And the one I've been chomping at the bit to publish. So I hope you like it as much as I do.
> 
> The first part of this chapter comes in the middle of 2x04 after the motion has been denied. The last section is set after the end of 2x04.
> 
> Title comes from the amazing song 'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan, though parts of this chapter were inspired by lyrics from the song 'Crash and Burn' by Savage Garden, a song I wholeheartedly recommend.

Jill looked up from her notes and checked the time. She sighed as she saw that it was gone midnight. She also noticed that she'd had no calls or texts from Roger, not since the one he'd sent earlier telling her to remember to sleep at some point. It was one of the things she lov...liked about him. He knew how dedicated she was to her work and her commitment to her clients and never tried to get her to stop. Though he had tried once. They'd argued about it briefly before she'd conceded that sleep would probably help. However when she'd spent several hours tossing and turning – waking him in the process – he'd told her to go and carry on working. He'd eventually found her asleep on the couch and would have let her keep sleeping, but he valued his life too much to risk her wrath.

Jill shook her head as she looked around the darkened 'war room'. She'd sent Allison, Jay and Ted home a couple of hours ago, telling them to sleep and figured she should practice what she preached.

After checking that everything was as it should be, she walked back into her office and picked up her coat and bag before she left the office. As the cold night air hit her cheeks she pulled her coat tighter around her. She considered taking the subway but a voice inside her head – one that sounded a hell of a lot like Roger – told her to not chance the subway in the midnight hour. She raised her hand and hailed a cab. As it pulled up, she gave the driver the address for Roger's building. She'd thought about going back to her own apartment, but decided against it, she had several items of clothing at his so it wasn't an issue really. She pulled out her phone and began making notes on the things that she needed to do, and various tasks to give Allison and Jay. Especially as they had an uphill struggle ahead of them.

After ten minutes, the cab came to a stop and she paid the driver before she got out and pulled the keys out of her bag. As she walked through the lobby she decided against using the elevator and decided to use the stairs. It was only to the third floor anyway.

Jill unlocked the front door, noticing that everything was in darkness. She hung her coat up on the hook beside the door and dropped her keys into the bowl as she toed off her shoes. She walked into the kitchen to get a drink and smiled as she caught sight of a foil covered plate. She pulled back the foil and groaned as she noticed the sandwich waiting for her. If she were less tired and her full focus wasn't on Steve Caldwell, Jill knew she'd ponder exactly what Roger had meant by leaving her something even if he had no firm confirmation she'd come here at all.

After eating, she washed the plate and left it to dry on the side. Leaving her bag there too, she tip toed across the hall to the bedroom, relieved that enough light was coming through the window so she could find her nightwear without having to put the light on and wake Roger who was sound asleep. She headed into the bathroom and completed her nightly routine before she stumbled back to the bedroom, tiredness finally catching up with her and crawling into bed. She kissed his cheek lightly before laying down and was asleep within minutes.

-x-

Roger wasn't entirely sure what woke him, but the darkness of the room told him that it was still the early hours. A quick glance at the clock on the bedside table, confirmed the time as two in the morning. He turned over to try and get comfortable once again and smiled as he saw that he was no longer alone in the bed. He didn't know when she'd got in, but knew he must have been in a deep sleep if he hadn't been woken by her. As he shifted into a more comfortable position, she stirred slightly seeking him out. He wrapped an arm around her as she burrowed against his side.

He didn't know what it was that had kept her working so late and while he knew that he couldn't know so that their integrity won't be compromised, he wished that he could know. If only so he could help in some way, even if it was just listening to her rant about whatever her latest case was and why it needed all of her. As he drifted back to sleep, he hoped that her client knew exactly how lucky they were to have Jill Carlan fighting their corner.

-x-

Roger checked the clock as he set the final item on the tray. He smiled as he realised that he had timed it perfectly. He was well aware of the fact that Jill was more than likely going to hole up in her office all day, so the least he could do was make sure that she actually had something substantial for breakfast. He picked up the tray and walked back towards the bedroom. Roger pushed open the bedroom door to see Jill sat up, phone in hand as she checked her emails.

“What's all this?” she asked looking up at him, a bemused smile on her face.

“Well, I figured you'd need something more than just coffee and a pastry from the bakery for breakfast,” he replied as he set the tray down on the bed.

“You not joining me?” she asked as she looked at the plate of French toast and small bowl of berries.

“In a minute,” he replied. “I'm just going to get the coffee.”

“No disgusting smoothie concoction for you?”

“Not today.”

* * *

Roger found her stood in front of the bedroom window looking out over the city, though he knew her mind was somewhere far away. As he walked towards her he coughed lightly so that he could alert her to his presence. Jill turned her head and gave a small smile before she turned back to the view. Though she had never said anything about the case – and had been adamantly refusing to all night – he knew what she had been working on as he'd read the papers. Not to mention he had overhead a couple of his colleagues from capital murder mention it in passing in a crowded elevator. It had taken everything in him, to not let rip when he heard them speaking about her in terms that weren't exactly polite.

"See anything interesting?" Roger asked as he came to stand behind her. Jill shook her head in response before she leaned back against him, letting him wrap his arms around her waist. From experience he knew that if she wanted to talk – even if it was in metaphors – she'd do it in her own time.

“You okay?” he asked a few minutes later.

“Not especially,” she sighed as she leaned further back, and felt his hold tighten, she placed her hands over his. "They are extremely rare, but sometimes, there are moments when I really hate this job.”

He could tell by the quiet, slightly scared tone her voice had taken that it was something she'd never admitted out loud before. And certainly not something she'd admit to anyone but herself or someone she trusted deeply. The thought that she trusted him enough to share what was potentially her deepest secret, meant more to him than he'd ever be able to say.

Jill turned to face him fully before she slid her arms around him. He responded in kind and wrapped her in a comforting embrace. He'd seen the ghosts in the corner of her eyes, the watery depth they'd taken on as tears formed but never fell. She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes, as she let her breath synchronise with his. It soothed her and helped to quiet her mind for the moment to hear nothing but the gentle tattoo of his heartbeat. It also made her feel cherished and cared for in a way she'd not felt in a long time. They may come at the law from different sides, but inside his – or her – apartment they were on the same side and supported each other as best they could. Both knew they could fall apart and the other would be ready to put them back together.

She moved her head and tilted it so she was looking up at Roger. The words she wanted to say died on her lips before her mouth could even form the shape of them. Now was not the right time for them to be said. Jill doubted that there would ever be the right time to say them, not with how precarious their situation was. One false step and both their jobs could be on the line. So instead, she reached up, leaned in and gently brushed her lips against his. Before she could pull back his grip tightened as he sought permission to deepen it which she granted eagerly. She poured every single feeling into this one kiss that had lit a fire within them both. Lips, tongues and wandering hands saying all the things they couldn't find the words to vocalise.

Her fingers swiftly opened the buttons of his shirt as she let him pull her towards the bed. They tumbled back against it, breaking apart in the process. She rubbed her nose against his, it felt more intimate than the usual gentle touches they shared. Yet she could tell by the soft look that he gave her in response that he liked it. She could also see that he was intent on making sure that she didn't think about work for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, can't wait to see what you made of it.
> 
> Hope you're all well.


	18. Baseball and Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jill and Roger go to a baseball game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, not much really happens in this chapter it's just a little fun thing that at the end tees up something for a later chapter and something I always wondered about. And the anecdote Jill tells at the beginning actually happened to someone I know. Slightly different circumstances but basics are the same. 
> 
> Set after 2x05.

Roger checked his watch as he waited outside the stadium. It was the first time that the Yankees were playing the Mets this season and Jill was running late. They had originally planned to meet at the station and get something to eat at one of the restaurants near the stadium. However, she'd messaged him to say something had come up and she'd meet him there. But as the game was due to start in fifteen minutes, and it had been a good hour and a half since they were supposed to meet, he was a little worried. He would have gone into the stadium, but as usual she had the tickets. He pulled out his phone to see if he had somehow missed a call or message from her. When he saw that there was nothing from her, Roger couldn't help but frown. He wasn't prone to melodramatic thoughts, but his mind seemed to start focusing on everything that could possibly have happened to her, each more worse than before. He knew far too much about the worst aspects of life in Manhattan to believe the best.

“Sorry, sorry.”

Roger looked up and smiled as he saw Jill hurrying towards him. He noticed that she was dressed a lot more casual than she had earlier. She now wore a dark pair of jeans, with a pale blue t-shirt, a baseball jacket and a Yankees cap. Her hair was tied back and tucked under the cap. Jill noticed his staring and rolled her eyes.

“A case came in half hour before I was going to leave, everyone else was busy, so I took it, met my client at the hospital and she ended up being sick all over me,” she sighed. “And that is why I'm late. I had to go home, change, and put my shirt in the sink to soak,” she added. “I'm going to try and not hold it against her.”

Roger smiled, they both knew that she wouldn't bring it up again. “Any excuse to dress in team colours,” he commented. He wrapped an arm around her waist as they walked into the stadium. “So I get the change of clothes, but why is your hair up?” he asked. “No matter what you always wear it down. Even when its the height of summer.”

“I had to wash that too,” she said with a grimace as they handed over the tickets. “Several times.”

Roger nodded sympathetically. Memories of the countless times his daughters had been sick flashed across his mind.

They made their way to their seats, talking softly about the Judge Fitzpatrick case. Jill hadn't been that surprised when Sandra had taken the case to Kate, especially as she'd had the bit between her teeth. Both had to admit they admired Kate for having the confidence to prosecute and take on a respected – until now – judge and win it. They were also glad that no more children would be given unfair and extreme sentences for minor offences, several of which both had done as children. Not to mention both had been guilty of getting in a few fights as teenagers.

As they reached their seats, the conversation had turned to the upcoming game and which players would be starting as well as their fervent desire to see the Mets completely crushed. As they settled into their seats, Roger put his arm around the back of her seat as he often did, while Jill eyes scanned the crowd. She loved to look at all the various fans, all from different walks of life. She especially loved seeing the younger fans, with the face paint as it reminded her of going to games as a young girl with her mother with the Yankees logo painted on her cheeks. The teams came out onto the field and both leaned forward slightly. They wanted to to catch every little moment, so they – if the game went in their favour – could rib Tina when they next saw her.

-x-

“I thought we didn't bring work into the stadium?” Roger frowned as he noticed Jill looking at her phone.

“I know,” she replied as she put it away. “I had Ted looking into something for me and he said he just left it on my desk.”

“Couldn't that have waited until tomorrow?”

“Probably,” she agreed. “But its to do with my latest case and he wanted to get it sorted before he went to Jay's party.”

“Isn't that the one who's just moved in with Seth Oliver?”

Jill nodded. “Should make things interesting.”

“Its getting to be like one big happy family.”

“Does that make us mom and dad?”

"Probably."

“We must have been very busy then,” Jill commented drily, causing them both to chuckle.

As the bottom of the ninth started, they turned their attention back to the field. Currently, it was a tie, and victory could easily be snatched from them. A palpable thrill went through the crowd as the last player up to bat hit a home run. The murmurs grew in pitch as victory looked more and more certain. The cheers exploded as the commentator announced a win for the Yankees. Both jumped to their feet in celebration. Despite the fact that they were in public – and they tried to keep public displays to a minimum – Jill threw her arms around him and kissed him quickly. Roger tightened his grip on her and deepened it briefly before they broke apart, cheering with the rest of the fans.

* * *

Tina walked out of the stadium, attempting to avoid the cheering Yankees fans. It wasn't that she hated the fact that the Mets had lost – though she did, even if it had been a great game, and both teams had played well – she just disliked some of the hoards that took celebrating wins too far and already reeked of alcohol. It was times like this she missed going to games with someone, so that she could have someone to dissect the games with. But she also figured it wasn't worth sacrificing her alone time, when she could just message her son when she got home.

She scanned the crowd as she looked for any sign of Jill and Roger, she knew that they were attending the game, and wanted to get their taunting over and done with. She was fully expecting some manner of payback for her taunts last month about the Yankees loss to the Red Sox. She walked down into the subway, and stood amongst the throng of Mets fans waiting for a train back to Brooklyn. She looked over at the other platform and caught sight of them stood next to one of pillars. Tina also noticed the way that they were stood, Roger had his arm slung loosely around Jill's shoulders while she had her head leant against his shoulder. Despite all the reasons she knew why they probably shouldn't be involved, Tina couldn't help but smile at them, it reminded her of the way she had used to stand with Larry when they would go walking around Manhattan. Now that she thought about it, it made sense of why Roger had seemed a fair bit happier than usual lately. As her train pulled up to the platform, she resolved that she wasn't going to get involved in their relationship. It wasn't really her business, and from what she could see it wasn't affecting their work, so until she saw something that concerned her, she was going to stay out of it. Besides, she knew that both more than deserved the happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it. Especially as we're heading into a 4 chapter fluff fest.
> 
> Hope you're all staying safe and entertained in the current climate.


	19. To Make You Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roger finds a way to make a hard day better for Jill and she gets a special delivery at the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went through several different versions before it ended up like this so I hope you like it. I ended up taking the opening of a story for this show that didn't pan out and repurposed it here as a starting point and I think it works well. 
> 
> Takes place somewhere in the middle of 2x06.

“Bit much for breakfast isn't it?” Jill asked as she walked into the kitchen to see an array of various ingredients on the counter. She put her phone down and picked up the coffee pot, poured herself a mug and took a deep sip.

“This isn't for breakfast,” Roger commented. “I'm looking to see what I can make us for dinner later.”

Jill set her mug down on the side and walked over to him, her arms slid around his waist from behind. “So what are you planning on making?”

“Haven't got a clue,” he said as he turned to face her.

“We could always go out somewhere.”

Roger smiled. “We could, but it won't be special,” he kissed her lightly. “I want it to be special.”

“Any particular reason?”

“No,” Roger leaned in and kissed her again. This time it was deeper and more passionate. She returned it eagerly, sighing in contentment as his hands slipped underneath her pyjama top and she was gently pressed against the counter. As his lips moved to her neck, her hands slid under his top and she let her nails rake gently over his back. Before things could go any further, they were interrupted by the harsh ring of Jill's phone. Roger groaned against her shoulder, before he stood back so that Jill could answer it. The person on the other end starting speaking almost immediately.

“Okay, okay, Brad, slow down and start again,” she frowned as she listened to what was being said. “Okay, don't panic. Give me half an hour,” she hung up and gave Roger a rueful glance. “Raincheck?”

“Problem?”

“Nothing that can't easily be solved,” she smiled. “Its never boring being a public defender,” she sighed as she turned around and walked out of the kitchen, her mug of coffee grasped tightly in her hands.

Roger watched as she walked away, a soft smile playing on his lips. Mornings were fast becoming his favourite time of day. It was a time when they'd sit about teasing or flirting with each other over breakfast. Other mornings they'd spend an extra half hour or so in bed or sharing a shower. He turned around and put a slice of bread into the toaster. Their breakfast may have to wait, but he wasn't going to let her go to work without eating anything. Within ten minutes, she walked back into the kitchen fully dressed and pulling on her shoes. Roger held out the piece of freshly buttered toast to her. Jill gave him a fond smile and took it from him.

“I'll see you later,” she said as she gave him a quick kiss.

Roger nodded as she walked away before he pulled out his phone. He knew the significance of today's date, knew what it meant to her and he wanted to do a little something to make her smile. There was another thing that was ticking away in the back of his mind, but he didn't know exactly how she would take it. Not to mention that this particular idea was a slight breach in professional ethics, one that was more severe than being in a relationship with his counterpart across the street.

* * *

Jill sighed as she put another file to one side and picked up another. She'd managed to distract herself with work like she'd wanted to. And later she was going to distract herself with a dinner for two, that if she knew Roger would end up being more than a little romantic. But things were still a little hard. In the past she'd head upstate every year on this date to lay flowers on the grave, but that had lapsed in recent years as her work load increased and Tori had been intent on getting lost. It wasn't the same if it wasn't the two of them visiting their mother.

“Delivery for you Jill.”

She looked up from the file she was reading to see their receptionist stood in the doorway of her office. Her eyes widened with surprise as she noticed the glass vase, blue ribbon around the neck with a flower arrangement inside it. “Are you sure?”

The receptionist nodded as she set the vase down on Jill's desk. “Its your name on the envelope.”

Jill looked out of her office window to see that almost everyone was looking her way, as they wondered what was going on.

“Thank you,” Jill smiled as she plucked the envelope from the middle of the arrangement. She noticed that the arrangement contained pink and red tulips, with a single white rose in the middle. She pulled the card out, and read the message. _'Hope these make you smile. Thinking of you today._ _R._ _'_

Though Jill knew she was definitely going to have words with Roger about sending flowers to her office, she couldn't help but smile, unable to believe that he'd do something like this. She hadn't even realised that he remembered her telling him when mother's birthday was and how hard she'd found it in the years since she'd died. Jill bit her lip as she breathed in the sweet scent. She had to admit, he was good. Jill slipped the card into her bag so that no one would be able to see who had sent them to her, before she picked up her phone. She knew that it was risky to call him – at least on this topic while at work – and though she wanted to thank him in person, he should at least know that she'd received them.

_'You wouldn't happen to know anything about some flowers that have just been delivered to my office would you?'_

_'Nothing to do with me. You must have a secret admirer.'_

_'Perhaps.'_

_'But you liked them yes?'_

_'I did. Thank you.'_

“Secret admirer?”

Jill looked up to see Jay stood in the doorway, his eyes trained on the bouquet. “Just a friend,” she lied. “Today's a difficult day sometimes, but that's my concern. So, what can I do for you?”

* * *

Jill walked through the front door, and smiled softly as she heard the faint sounds of the radio in the kitchen. She dropped her bag by the door and hung up her coat, before she followed the sounds – and smells. She pushed open the kitchen door to see the counter still covered in ingredients as it had been earlier, only this time it was more streamlined and a smaller group of foods.

“I could get used to this,” she smiled as she walked over to him. “You didn't have to do this you know.”

“I know,” Roger smiled as he turned to face her. “But I know how hard you can find your mother's birthday and I just wanted to make you smile.”

“You already did,” Jill replied as she slid her arms around his waist. “The flowers were beautiful. Even if I did have to dodge questions about whether or not I had a secret admirer.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't be, they'll brighten up the office for a few days,” she smiled before, she leaned in and kissed him lightly. “So what are you cooking?”

“Its an old family recipe,” he replied. “I called my aunt Ivy and she begrudgingly gave me her lasagna recipe,” he added. “So you better be impressed,” he teased.

“I'm sure I will be,” Jill smiled as she picked up one of the wine glasses, that sat beside the candles, and leaned against the counter as she watched him cook. It was something that she found delightfully attractive about him. And she was intent on enjoying every minute of it.

-x-x-

“Thank you for all of this,” she said as they walked into the living room after they'd finished and cleaned up. “It really means a lot."

“It was nothing,” he smiled. “There was something else,” he said as they sat down on the couch. “But I don't know how you're going to react.”

“Okay?” she frowned as she looked over at him.

“Well one of the investigators in the office, owed me a favour,” he began, “it's not important why,” he added at the look Jill gave him. “Anyway, I didn't put any resources on it, I didn't ask him to treat it like an investigation, I'm not diverting any attention away from more important matters or cases, but I did ask him to keep an eye out for your sister's name if it came up within any inquires he made. Even if its just a vague idea as to her whereabouts.”

Jill stared at him open mouthed as the words sunk in. “You did that for me?”

He nodded. “Was I wrong?”

She shook her head in response, before she leaned in and kissed him hard. Roger sat there stunned for a moment, before he returned it. After a few moments he pulled back slightly, his hands still tangled in her hair.

“You were not wrong,” she smiled. “It was probably the nicest thing that anyone's done for me.”

“Well I don't know if anything will come of it.”

“That doesn't matter,” Jill replied with a shake of her head. “The fact that you'd even consider doing something like this would've been enough,” she leaned back in and kissed him once more, pushing him back against the couch cushions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. Can't wait to read your thoughts on it.


	20. Night-time Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roger can't go one night without talking to Jill, and in the aftermath of the Braden Walsh case, Jill can't get recent events off of her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there are two distinct sections to this and both are - in my humble opinion - adorable in their own way. 
> 
> First half takes place towards the beginning of 2x07 and the second half takes place after the episode.

Jill unlocked her front door and walked inside. She dropped her bag on the floor, before she leaned back against it. It felt strange being here by herself. She'd spent most of the past week at Roger's apartment. And the last time she'd spent the night here, he had been there with her. It hadn't escaped her notice that they had begun to spend near enough all their time outside of work together as opposed to the odd nights here and there. Their relationship was fast reaching a dangerous tipping point. When they'd first started to see each other, she'd assumed it would run its course in time, that the differences between them would eventually be their downfall. But apart from a little blip during the Julian Sarco case, things had gone smoothly. Even when they'd cases against each other, they'd found a way to make it work. Though she'd definitely enjoyed the highly charged edge that their battles had taken on. Jill shook her head, before she picked up her bag and walked towards her bedroom. She did have work to do after all.

An hour later, she was sat on her bed, files all around her, laptop by her side, empty take-out containers on her night stand. She'd promised Jay she'd cast a clean pair of eyes over his suppression motion. He had been working on it all day and was sure he'd missed something. Jill smiled as she went over it with a fine toothed comb. There was nothing wrong with it that she could see. It was a very good motion, certainly more than enough to make the judge think twice. Jill made a few tweaks to some of the wording before she sent it back to Jay so that it could be filed first thing in the morning. Once that was sorted, she had turned her attention to her own cases. She was halfway through writing a motion when her phone rang. She smiled as she saw Roger's name flash up.

“This is weird,” Roger commented as soon as she answered. “I'm used to you being here, sitting on the couch, teasing me, hiding your files from me while you're working.”

“You're a big boy, I think you can survive a couple of nights without me,” she smiled, she rather liked the fact that he was missing her just as much as she was missing him.

“I don't know that I can,” he whined playfully. “You left something here, a Yankees shirt.”

“Well, that solves your missing me problem,” she said. “Put it under your pillow and your brain will think I'm there.”

“Doubt it, it was in with the washing, it smells like detergent now.”

“Got you well trained haven't I?” she teased. “So, why are you calling me?”

“I miss our late night conversations,” Roger shrugged. Jill felt a blush grown on her cheeks, but then she'd found he'd always been able to do that recently. It also made her heart flutter, a dangerous occupation when she was unsure how much longer this could go on before a seismic shift occurred. “So, what are you wearing?”

“You did not just ask me that?”

“What if I did?”

Jill shook her head fondly. She could practically hear the twinkle in his eye that was almost always present when he was teasing her. Not to mention the seductive timbre his voice had taken on that had sent a lick of heat through her.

“You really want to know?” she asked as she looked down at the grey silk pyjamas she was wearing. She bit her lip, it had been a long while since she'd done this and it would provide a distraction. She balanced the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she moved the stuff off of her bed.

“You know I do.”

“My sexiest lingerie.”

* * *

Roger glanced over at Jill and smiled, despite the fact that he was holding the strings of a bag, Jill had still found a way for them to walk close together, her arm wrapped loosely around his. She'd also succeeded in getting a glimpse of the shirt that he'd brought her, he was just glad that she'd liked it. He hadn't planned on buying her anything but he'd been walking past the boutique and had seen the shirt on a mannequin. Something about it had made him think of Jill, so he'd took his chance and brought it. His smile turned to a frown as he noticed that she was wearing her thinking face. He knew exactly what was on her mind. Jill had made it perfectly clear what she'd thought about his actions, even if they'd been necessary given their personal situation. He just didn't know if she was planning on holding it against him. Or if something else was on her mind.

“I can hear you thinking,” he said. “Anything I can help with?”

Jill shook her head. “Just thinking about Sandra. I can't even begin to comprehend what she must be going through right now.”

“I don't think any of us can,” he agreed. “Its not exactly the sort of thing they teach you in law school.”

“Maybe they should,” Jill commented. “Make times like this less hard on everyone,” she added. “Not to mention easier to advise them as well.”

“And it's mean less subpoena's required,” he commented thoughtlessly causing Jill to glare sharply at him. “Sorry,” he replied, his tone apologetic. He looked around to try and find something to distract her. “Do you wanna get something to eat?”

“No,” she replied. “I just want to go back to yours, and just forget today for several hours.”

“That I can help with,” he said as he shifted the bag to his other hand, before he took her free hand in his.

-x-x-x-x-

Jill sat on the couch, toying with the cuffs of her dressing gown, as she listened to the pundits talk on SportsCenter. Though she'd said she'd wanted to forget, her mind was still focused on recent events. She understood why Roger had done it. The need to show that he wasn't going to treat her differently, that there was no way that line between who they were at work and who they were outside of work would get blurred. Yet there was a tiny bit of hurt still lingering that it hadn't gone through the proper channels. An even smaller, completely irrational part of her demanded that things were different. She looked up as Roger sat beside her, a tray now on the coffee table. Two omelettes and two glasses of wine on it. Jill picked up her glass and downed half of it in one go. Roger merely raised an eyebrow before he turned his attention to his own omelette. They ate in silence paying little attention to the television both lost in their own thoughts.

“Feeling better?”

“A little,” she replied as she put her plate back on the tray. “I just can't stop thinking about it, what would I have done in her shoes. How would I have behaved?”

“I honestly don't think anyone knows how they'd react in that situation,” Roger replied mirroring her actions before holding out an arm so she could lean against him. “Its all fine and dandy saying what you'd do in that situation but its all hypothetical until you actually experience it for yourself.”

Jill nodded against his shoulder. There was definitely some truth in his words. It had certainly been why no one had been able to give Sandra some satisfactory advice. She just hoped that things would be better tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it.


	21. Reassurances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jill worries she's working in a powder keg, and Roger thinks about them getting away from it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was hard to write cos there wasn't much to work with within the episode itself, but I think I managed. Anyway enjoy.

“Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Roger nodded his thanks at the Maitre'd, while Jill replied with her own as they left the restaurant. Even though they kept their relationship behind closed doors, they still liked to go out every now and again. Tonight had been one such occasion with Roger wanting to try the new Italian restaurant that had just opened in Greenwich Village.

“You want to take a walk?” he asked. “Or do you just want to head back to mine?”

“Lets go for a walk,” she smiled. “Its a nice night and there's something about the city lights on the water that I like,” she added as she looped her arm around his and they set off in the direction of the waterfront.

Despite being a warm evening, there was still a little chill in their air. Though Roger guessed that that was more to do with where they were walking than the actual temperature. There was also a small part of him that wondered if he was recognising a chill because Jill was being very quiet and had been for most of the evening. It had also seemed that she was more than a little preoccupied. Initially, he'd assumed it was something that he had done, but when he'd asked Jill had reassured him that he wasn't the reason, there was just a lot on her mind and had chosen not to elaborate further. However, it was now starting to play on his mind as well. They'd both promised not to shut the other out, yet to him, it felt like she was starting to.

“You can tell me to mind my own business,” he began causing her to look up at him. “But are you sure nothings wrong?”

“I'm sure,” Jill nodded. They walked in silence for several more minutes before she spoke again. “Can we pretend we can talk about professional things for the moment, its not case related.”

“Go on,” he said in agreement, knowing she wouldn't ask if it wasn't something that was weighing heavily on her mind.

“There's an atmosphere brewing in the office. Several of my lawyers aren't talking to each other. I've got Jay grumbling about being on duty again, like its some vendetta against him, Allison is running herself into the ground with Rodney, I know Leonard's trying to help, but its clearly not working, Sandra's still not over what happened, not that I was expecting her to be, but its just like I'm working in a powder keg where one tiny spark is going to set it all off and everything will go up in smoke,” she sighed. “I just can't shake the feeling that someone is going to snap at some point. And I'm going to be the one taking the brunt of it.”

“It had been a tough week for them all,” he said soothingly. “And as for the business with Sandra, you can't blame her for not bouncing back straight away.”

“I don't blame her,” she said. “I blame myself. I feel like I should've helped more, given her more support in making that decision. And you know, I think she blames me a little too, the way she was when I spoke to her earlier, its like I had somehow wronged her, I...”

“Jill,” Roger interrupted, as he turned her to face him. “Stop worrying. Your office is extremely loyal to you. They like you. They respect you. More importantly, they _trust_ you,” he added. “They know that no one works harder for them, fights harder for them. Everything will all work out.”

She gave him a soft smile, a fond look appearing in her eyes. The same one she'd been giving him a lot more frequently of late. “Do you really believe that?”

“I do,” he nodded as he placed his hands on her cheeks, before he leaned in and kissed her softly. “Feel better?”

“A little,” she replied, letting him wrap an arm around her shoulder as they resumed walking.

Jill leaned her head against his shoulder, and brought her right hand up, to hold the one around her shoulders. Though she knew all of the reasons why their relationship couldn't be public knowledge, she wished things could be different, so that they could be like this more often. Be more open. Especially since she was well aware that her feelings had deepened in recent days. She thought about the way she'd caught him watching her recently and felt like he was in exactly the same boat. It had started out as a bit of fun, and just something gentle. But it had developed and now – as much as she loved the way things were – she was starting to feel a push and pull between the personal and professional. She just didn't know which would win if push came to shove.

“I was thinking,” Roger said breaking through her thoughts. They stopped walking and she turned to face him once again. “Maybe we could get away from the city for a weekend at some point,” he said. “You know go across the water to New Jersey, or up to Maine. Nothing extravagant, just you, me and a little inn somewhere.”

“That sounds lovely,” Jill smiled softly, as she thought about the possibilities. The various places they could go. Not to mention how nice it would be to not be looking over their shoulders all the time. “Could we leave our phones behind?” she asked, wondering if she'd ever get one weekend without a call about a work issue from one of her public defenders.

“If you like.”

“If you can make it work, I'm all for it,” she agreed. “Especially if you swing it so that no one realises we're off together,” she added knowing that both offices interacted outside of work. It wouldn't take much for one to mention their boss being away for the weekend, and then another to put two and two together.

“I think I can come up with something,” he smiled as he leaned in and kissed her once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. As you can guess, the storm clouds are starting to gather on the horizon for these two. But that's not to worry about now, next time is some more fluff. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and hopefully the craziness of the world right now will be over soon.


	22. You Are The Love That Came Without Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roger ruminates on his conversation with Tina and comes to a realisation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I figured it was time to see just when Roger realised he was in love. I mean there have been hints in previous chapters, but this is the first time that he actually names it himself. Takes place in the middle of 2x09
> 
> Chapter title comes from the song 'Obvious' by Westlife.

Roger walked through the front door and closed it with a weary sigh. He'd expected to be back a couple of hours ago, but Delap had corned him on his way out for an update on the Betty Baker trial as well as to let him know about the latest case about to come in that he was adamant the office should investigate. He dropped his bag by the door not wanting to think about anything work related until the morning. He hung his coat up, and walked into the kitchen to see Jill sat at the island, laptop open, typing away, empty plate beside her. Roger couldn't help but smile, thinking about Tina's words from earlier.

“Hey,” she smiled leaning up to kiss him. “There's some leftover stir fry if you want some. If not, it can be refrigerated.”

“You cooked?” he smirked as he lifted the lid of the pan.

“Don't sound so surprised,” Jill commented turning face him. “I can cook, I just rarely have the time or inclination to do so,” she added as she turned her attention back to her work. “What was that all about with Tina earlier? Did I interrupt something?”

“Not at all, we were just talking,” he replied as he sat opposite her, his own plate in front of him.

They carried on in silence, with it occasionally broken by the tapping of keys on the keyboard. Roger paused his deliberations on which AUSA he was going to put on the incoming case, as he looked over at Jill. Earlier, Tina had commented that he had been a lot happier recently. He hadn't really thought about it. At least not in those exact terms. He knew he wasn't as grumpy as usual, but he hadn't thought that it was that noticeable. But then again, he shouldn't have been surprised, Tina knew practically everything that went on in that courthouse. Of course, Roger wouldn't be telling Jill that Tina knew about them, as that knowledge would probably send her running and that thought was something that he didn't want to entertain. He was used to her being here with him. Like she probably always should have been.

“If you think any harder, I'm pretty sure your brain will overheat.”

“How'd you know I was thinking?”

“You were practically drilling a hole into my skull,” she replied. “Anything I can help with?”

“Not just yet,” he replied causing her to look at him strangely. He merely smiled at her before he turned his attention back to his dinner.

* * *

Once again Roger found himself laid awake at night, brooding. Only this time it was good things keeping him awake. He wasn't exactly sure how long he'd been looking up at the ceiling – he was refusing to look at the clock, he didn't want to know how long he'd been thinking – with only the sounds of the city and Jill's gentle breathing as the soundtrack to his thoughts. He glanced over at her and watched her sleeping. He smiled as he remembered coming back home after visiting his daughters to find her asleep in much the same position.

_He walked through the front door, glad to be back home. Not that he didn't like visiting his daughters, but a weekend was never enough time to spend with them. Not to mention he had found himself missing Jill a lot. He had told Maggie and Sophie about Jill, especially once they'd noticed his slight upturn in mood. Not that either had really been surprised by his news. Both had long suspected a deeper attachment than friendship when most of the stories he would tell them involved Jill in some way._

_He frowned a little as he caught sight of Jill's coat hanging on the hooks by the door. He wondered if she'd left it there when she'd stopped by to water his plants and check on the place. But as he walked into the bedroom, he realised that that wasn't the case at all. He smiled as he caught sight of her sleeping on her side, facing the side he usually slept on. Roger put his bag on the floor and walked over to her. Gently he traced a finger across her_ _cheek watching as she stirred slightly and smiled sleepily at him, before her eyes widened as she realised it wasn't actually a dream._

“ _Not that I don't like coming home to this,” he said with a smile. “But didn't I only ask you to water my plants?”_

“ _Yes,” she replied, her eyes holding his. “I was tired after I checked on them. I couldn't be bothered to head home.”_

“ _Of course,” he nodded before he kissed the tip of her nose. “What's the real reason?” he asked noticing that Jill had suddenly found her nails fascinating enough to avoid his gaze. He also noticed a faint hint of blush on her cheeks. “Jill?”_

“ _I may have missed you a bit,” she replied sheepishly. “Or a lot. Being here, made me miss you a little less.”_

 _He tilted her head up, so she was looking into his eyes. “_ _You don't need to be embarrassed by that.”_

“ _I'm not...” she tailed off as she leaned in and kissed him lightly pulling him onto the bed, stripping him of his jacket in the process._

Even just recalling it infused him with warmth. Now that he thought about it, it was the idea of coming home and finding her there that he had loved. It was some the same feeling that he'd had earlier when he'd come home to find her working in the kitchen. He found he was rather starting to like coming home to her. He turned back to look up at the ceiling, watching her sleep seemed a little bit creepy.

“Did you think you were being cute just now?”

Roger turned to see Jill watching him, hair mussed and eyes lidded with sleep. “I don't know what you're talking about," he said feigning ignorance.

“Sure,” she drawled. “What's keeping you up this time?”

“Good things,” he replied. “Just a few things I need to make decisions about. When I’ve made them you'll be the first to know,” he added giving her a soft smile which she sleepily returned, sending an arrow straight to his heart. 

It occurred to him then exactly what it was he'd been feeling recently. All the times that thoughts of her had crossed his mind - both first thing in the morning and last thing at night - how he found himself missing her when she wasn't around, how he'd been happier than usual – something that both of his daughters had picked up on – how he wanted to make her happy in return, how he wanted her to always be there. How part of him wished that he'd met her long before he actually did (though that would probably mean he'd have never met Renee and he wouldn't trade his daughters for anything - not even for a lifetime with Jill. Though sometimes he did wonder how different it could've been if he'd met her first), he didn't like it when they went too long without speaking or when they fought. It all added up to one plan and simple fact, he was completely in love with her. He wasn't sure when he'd first fallen, all he knew was that he loved her and he was fairly certain that she felt the same.

As he finally fell asleep, he knew exactly what it was he wanted to do next, how to 'move them along' to borrow a turn of phrase from Tina. All he had to do know was figure out exactly what it was he wanted to say, and how to do it. And pray he didn't get completely tongue tied in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter. It was full of fluffy fluffiness for a reason. The next chapter is decidedly...not. The storm clouds have gathered and its about to rain.
> 
> Let me know what you thought.


	23. But It's A Conversation, I Just Can't Have Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of 2x09, Jill doesn't know what to do and avoids pretty much everyone - as much as she's able - while Roger can't shake the melodramatic feeling that everything is starting to slip away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I was to categorise this chapter as anything, I'd say it was angst, anxiousness and uncertainty. My plan is for this chapter and the following two to lead into one another as we chart pretty much all of 2x10 and get inside their minds. They are also longer than previous chapters, each clocking in around 2,000 words minimum. But it's telling a story, that I hope you'll want to see from start to finish as I feel there was a lot to play with in these episodes so I figured I'd go for a full on thing rather than just little bits from the episodes. 
> 
> So this chapter is set between the end of 2x09 and goes up to just before Jill speaks with Judge Byrne in 2x10. And contains dialogue from both episodes.
> 
> Chapter title comes from the song 'No Light, No Light' by Florence + The Machine

“We are warriors! We once were warriors!” Sandra yelled as several months of built up frustrations and anger bubbled to the surface. Jill held herself rigidly, determined not to show how deep the words had cut. She was certain her childhood ballet teacher would be pleased with her posture right now. “Who are we now? Who are you?” she finished, fixing Jill with a sharp glare before she turned and stormed out of the office, stopping just short of slamming the door behind her.

Jill watched as Sandra walked away before she sat back down in her chair with a heavy sigh. That had not been the way she'd expected that conversation to go. She'd expected there to be a little anger on Sandra's part, but the blow up she'd gotten was on another level. She'd never suspected that Sandra had even had any inkling – let alone firm confirmation – that she and Roger were a couple. Though now that she thought about it, it certainly made sense of some of the things that Sandra had said recently, the pointed way she'd said 'relationship', her refusal to let her speak to Roger when Kate had withheld important information. There was a part of her that couldn't shake the irony. Several weeks ago Roger had said, her team trusted her, well that wasn't true right now. Jill couldn't even begin to fathom how deeply betrayed Sandra must be feeling at this moment in time. She'd meant it when she'd said that nothing she'd done was wrong. That there wasn't a conflict, but she knew the opposite was also true. She'd questioned herself and her decision making several times about whether or not they had been made in the interest of herself or the client. God knew they should probably have gone about the Baker case differently. In hindsight, Jill wondered if they should have mediated with Sandra and Kate instead. Then maybe everything wouldn't feel so screwed up.

As she lifted her head, her eyes fell upon the envelope that Roger had given her earlier. She pulled it towards her and opened it wondering just what it was that he had been playing at. She pulled out the bookmark and studied it. Apart from the fact that it was his favourite bookstore, she had no idea why he wanted to meet her there. Or why he'd seemed so distracted during their meeting earlier. She really hoped that he wasn't going to do something stupid, because after today she wasn't sure what the future held for them. Or even if there was anyway forward for them.

-x-x-x-x-

Normally bookstores made him feel calm, but right now he was feeling nothing but nerves. Despite how she'd gone to open up the envelope in his office, it didn't follow that she would actually see it before they were due to meet. He checked his phone and let out a small sigh of relief as he realised that it wasn't yet half nine. Roger turned to look at the shelves, studying the books. He had no plans to actually buy any of them, but it helped to soothe his nerves. He practiced the speech in his head, he wanted to know it backwards and forwards so he wouldn't – hopefully – get tongue tied and say the wrong thing or word it differently. He could only imagine the look Tina would give him, if she asked how it had gone and he'd somehow messed it up. 

He checked his phone once again, he tried to ignore the worry that had crept in when he saw that she should've been here by now. Though five minutes late wasn't such a big thing, he assumed that she was late leaving the office or her train was stuck in the subway somewhere. Roger turned back to the shelves, perusing the books, at least this way he didn't look like she'd stood him up. He picked up one of the books and read the back of it, while surreptitiously glancing at the door, hoping that she'd come walking through it.

The minutes ticked by and Roger felt himself begin to worry even more. Whenever they'd arranged to meet, she'd always been there on time or called him to let him know if she was running late or couldn't make it for whatever reason. He checked his watch and realised that it would soon be closing time and he couldn't keep waiting around for her. He walked out of the store and looked up and down the street, hoping he'd catch some glimpse of Jill. Seeing no hint of her blonde hair anywhere, he walked towards the subway hoping that she'd be back at his apartment when he got there.

* * *

Usually, Jill loved the silence that came with a late night at the office, but now it just felt cloying and oppressive. Sandra's words were still spinning around in her mind. The bookmark glared at her, taunting her with the knowledge that at this moment she should be meeting with Roger. Not hiding away in her office. Jill had known that she and Roger couldn't carry on the same way they had been. She wondered if they'd gotten too complacent about the fact that no one had found out about them. That everything was still as secret as it had been at the start.

She'd always assumed that if someone found out about them, that would be the end of them and then after an awkward couple of days, they'd go back to how they had been before. Yet she couldn't shake off the indecisiveness she currently felt. And she knew exactly why she felt that way. She loved him and knew that things could never go back to how it used to be. There was no way they could go back to baseball games and thinly veiled flirting, too much had happened. But now that Sandra knew, and had confronted her with it, there was no way that her relationship with Roger could stay the same as it was now.

Jill shook her head and flicked off the lamp on her desk before she grabbed her coat and bag. She stalked out of her office, not even glancing in the direction of Sandra's office. She didn't need to see more judgement from her. As her phone rang, she glanced at the caller display and ignored it, she couldn't deal with Roger just now, not when she wasn't sure what she would say. Should say. She knew it was cowardly of her, but until she knew for certain what would happen next, she was going to avoid dealing with it. She had clients to focus on, and they were more important than her personal life.

“Night Jill,” Allison said as she walked past her. Jill nodded briefly, but just carried on walking. Allison frowned as she wondered what was going on. “Have I missed something?” she asked as Sandra walked out of her office.

“I may have yelled at her,” Sandra sighed. “I'm surprised you didn't hear it.”

“Why?”

“Its not my place to say,” Sandra replied. She may not agree with what Jill was doing, but it wasn't right to spread it all over the office. “I probably could have put things more tactfully, but it needed to be said.”

-x-x-x-x-

Roger walked through the front door to find the apartment in total darkness, he looked around and his heart sank at the realisation that Jill wasn't there. He'd had a sinking feeling that she was avoiding him, especially as the phone calls he'd made had gone to voicemail. He hung his coat on the rack and sighed. Something had to have happened in the past few hours, he just had not figured out yet, what it was. The thought that she was crushed over a case crossed his mind. Yet he knew that if it was only that she'd probably have sought him out. She had openly admitted that he was generally good at making her feel better after a bad case. He dropped his briefcase and walked towards his room, loosening his tie, he removed it and slung it over the chair. He didn't know why but the apartment felt too big without her there. Her overnight bag was still against the wall, so he hoped that regardless of what was going on, she'd come by at some point. Even if it was only to pick up what she'd left behind. As he sat on the seat at the end of the bed, he drummed his fingers against his leg. He contemplated going to her apartment, but if she was ignoring his calls, she probably wouldn't take too kindly to him appearing at her front door in the middle of the night.

-x-

Time seemed to be moving slowly. Every time he looked at the clock it seemed as though only five minutes had passed. Roger pulled his phone towards him and opened up the messages app, though he wasn't exactly sure what it was he'd even say to her. He watched as three dots appeared moving back and forth as though Jill was in the process of typing. He waited with baited breath to see what it would say, what reasons she'd give him for avoiding him. However, after several moments, no messages appeared and the dots disappeared. He set his phone back on the night stand and sighed. He hoped that whatever was going on would be revealed to him soon.

* * *

Roger walked down the corridor, ignoring the glances that were thrown his way. He'd heard them talking the past couple of days, heard the comments flying around about his slightly darker mood, how it appeared to have come out of nowhere. Which he supposed it had. At the start of the week he'd been happy. He was with the woman he loved, all set to ask her to move in with him, and it had all slipped away. At least, he thought it had, he wasn't exactly sure. His phone calls had still been ignored and sent to voicemail, messages left unanswered. Roger was also fairly sure he had seen Jill duck into one of the bathrooms in the courthouse the day before just to avoid him. He really didn't know what was going on with her. That night on the rooftop of her building when they'd promised to not shut each other out, seemed like so long ago. Yet that was what she was doing right now. 

He glanced over at Seth's office and noticed the AUSA was finally at work. He figured that now was as good as time as any to tell him about the Mafia case that he had for him.

-x-

Jill looked at the call log on her phone, trying to ignore the number of missed calls and unread messages. She felt horrible for ignoring him so completely. She'd heard it referred to as 'ghosting' and it had sounded as awful as she currently felt. But before she had any conversation with him, she needed to know exactly what to say. In her career it was important to be precise with her words and this was a time when she needed to know exactly what to say. Until she knew all the consequences that could unfurl, or if she could even carry on the relationship – which was what she was hoping for – she couldn't deal with him or what was going on with them. After Jill had found herself ducking into a bathroom to avoid speaking with Roger, she had made up her mind to speak with Judge Byrne to get advice from him. At least then, she'd be able to end some of the uncertainty that she was currently experiencing. The man had been in the Southern District longer than any of them, and there was little he hadn't seen in all his years there.

She looked the case that had just come in, she thought about taking it on herself, she could really use the distraction, but she knew someone else that would be perfect for the role. Her phone began to ring and she saw that it was Roger calling. For a moment, she thought about dismissing it, but she really wanted to speak to him. She pressed answer hoping that it would be work related, she couldn't deal with anything else right now.

“Personal or professional?”

“Professional,” he replied. “Personal, I'm not actually sure,” he added. Jill bit the inside of her cheek to tamper the emotions that threatened to rise. “You didn't show up the other night, I haven't seen you in days.”

Jill closed her eyes momentarily. She could hear the concern in his tone, it tugged at her heartstrings and made her want to rethink her position. She shook her head. “I can't really talk now, I'm sorry,” she hung up quickly hating herself for lying to him. She picked up the file and walked out of the office. She put it in front of Allison before she walked out of the office, barely sparing anyone else a glance.

-x-x-x-x-

She walked through the courthouse quickly, careful to avoid Tina. She'd spotted the woman watching her closely and she knew that in just a few short sentences, Tina could have her spilling her guts out. It was just her way and that was the last thing she needed right now. She walked towards Byrne's office, she couldn't remember the last time that she'd felt this nervous. She raised a hand on knocked on his office door.

“Come in.”

Jill walked in and closed the door behind her. “Do you have a moment?” she asked. “I need your advice.”

Byrne capped his pen as he looked over at her. He couldn't recall the last time – if ever – that she had come to him for advice, so he knew that it had to be a fairly serious matter if she needed guidance. He stood up and walked over to the seats, indicating that she should sit down. “So, what can I do for you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we'll pick it up from here in the next chapter...well just after and it was hard to write. 
> 
> Anyway I hope you liked this chapter, let me know what you thought of it. And also sorry if it made your heart ache for these two.


	24. 24a: Never Simple, Never Easy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which both Jill and Roger are very introspective regarding the current situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a couple of days later than I initially planned to publish this chapter. The day before I was going to publish it, I was listening to one of my many playlists and one of the songs on it inspired me to add several sections to this chapter, after which - like most other things I write - I left it alone for a couple of days before I went back to it, to see if it fitted in with the rest of the chapter. And with a slight bit of editing it did. It also made this chapter about 1,000 words longer than it was originally. So I decided to split it in two, mostly because I wanted to give you a gentle (not sure that's the right choice of words) ease into the heartbreak and moping and pining that is the next chapter rather than just hit you with it all in one go.
> 
> Anyway, so this is chapter 24a and it will cover the part of 2x10 that starts after Jill leaves Byrne's office to the 'break up' in the bar. And does contain some dialogue from the actual episode
> 
> Chapter title comes from the song 'Breathe' by Taylor Swift ft. Colbie Caillat.

“I'm sorry Jill.”

Jill looked over at him and gave him a small smile, despite her heart sinking. It was the answer she'd expected to receive, the one she was prepared for, yet it still hurt, like thousands of tiny knives cutting into her skin. After a couple of moments of letting it sink in, she stood up and gave him a small nod, blinking away tears. As she walked past, Byrne reached out and touched her hand, causing her to turn back to face him. “I really am sorry Jill,” he said in that calm way he had. “I know that its not the answer you were hoping for. I truly do wish I could have given you a different answer.”

Jill gave him another watery smile before she walked out of the office. She closed the door behind her and leaned back against the wall and took several shuddering breaths. She bit the inside of her cheek, in an attempt to reign in her emotions. She couldn't break down. Not here. Not now. After a few more deep breaths and a private pep talk to herself, Jill squared her shoulders and headed back towards the main area of the courthouse. Now all she had to do was decide when to speak with Roger. She knew that she'd have to do it sooner rather than later. But there was a part of her that wanted to put it off for as long as possible. If only to maintain the illusion that there was a future for them that didn't involve one or both of them losing their jobs. She was so caught up in her own thoughts to realise that she hadn't taken the back route.

“What's that face for?”

Jill looked up to see Tina watching her from behind the clerk's desk, and groaned inwardly, she wasn't sure she could handle Tina's good intentions at the moment. She found herself wishing that she had a hearing she had to rush for. “Oh, its nothing.”

“Yeah, not buying it,” Tina replied as she turned to whisper something to her colleague before looking back at Jill. “In,” she pointed behind her.

Jill thought about making her excuses, but the look Tina was giving her left her in no doubt that it was a command, not a request. She walked into the office, noticing that Tina had instructed her colleague that there were not to be interrupted, before she closed the doors behind her. Jill took one of the seats and waited for Tina to speak.

“I'm assuming, that this,” Tina began as she sat opposite her and indicated Jill's dejected expression. “Is in relation to why Roger has been looking like an abandoned puppy the past few days.”

Jill winced at the analogy before Tina's words properly sunk in.“So, you know too?” Jill asked watching as Tina nodded. “For how long?”

“Not long,” she replied. “Several weeks, just over a month really.”

“And you never said anything?”

“It wasn't my place,” Tina shrugged. “So what happened?”

Jill sighed, she didn't particularly want to tell her, but – whether it was wanted or not – Tina gave great advice. She took a deep breath and told her everything that had occurred since Sandra had revealed she knew about them, right down to her listing off all of the things that Jill had started to worry about herself.

“So that's why you've been avoiding him?” Tina asked once Jill had finished.

“I didn't know what to say, or do,” she replied. “There's hardly a blueprint for this kind of conversation.”

“And you know now?” Tina pressed gently.

“I do,” Jill nodded. “I've got to end it. If it carries on, our jobs are on the line and we'd end up resenting each other,” she added. “I've lived in a relationship with resentment before. I can't do it again.”

“I get that,” Tina sighed. She could understand the logic, even though she knew it was going to be hard for the both of them. Especially since she knew what Roger felt for the other woman. “Well, my door is open if you want to talk.”

Jill nodded at her friend before she stood up. She knew what she had to do now, she just wanted a few more hours of pretending that it could still work out for them.

* * *

Roger walked back to his office feeling sick to the stomach. It felt like he could have pushed Delap harder on the Spiller case. He may have his differences with the man, but he had always assumed that the guy cared about the law. This was a case that effected every American citizen and it needed to be prosecuted. Leonard and Kate had worked hard on pulling the case together, to take it away from them just hadn't sat right with him. Being told what they could and couldn't prosecute on the basis of whether or not it made life uncomfortable for those higher up the command structure just wasn't on. And he was fairly certain that not prosecuting wasn't in anyone's best interest.

Matters were also not helped by the fact that he'd gotten next to no sleep the previous night. After his brief conversation with Jill, he'd hoped that she'd call him back, but she hadn't. He'd slept fitfully, not wanting to be too deep asleep if she did call him.

His phone beeped, causing him to pick it up quickly. He was extremely aware of just how pathetic he was behaving, but he was far too eager to get any scrap of contact from her to explain her behaviour the past few days, that he didn't actually care. And as his blinds were drawn, he knew no one could see him, so he wasn't too concerned by his actions. On the lock screen, he saw a notification from Jill. He opened the message: _'Tiny's. 9pm. Tonight. We need to talk.'_

He responded with a quick _'_ _okay_ _'_. While he was glad that they were finally going to talk, there was still a feeling of apprehension. While he wanted to know why she had been avoiding him, he also dreaded it. There was no escaping the fact that things weren't going to be able to go back to how it had been before all of this. Roger held his head in his hands and let out a deep sigh. He had had the exact same feeling in the final days of his marriage and he hadn't liked it then either. He just hoped that for once, his gut feeling was completely wrong.

* * *

Jill paced the pavement outside Tiny's as she tried to work up the courage to go in. she knew that Roger was already in there, she'd spotted his distinctive silhouette through the window. she knew what she needed to say. The words had been twirling round her head all afternoon, she knew what had to be done. This was going to hurt like hell for the both of them, but needs must. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, it was time to rip off the band aid. She pulled open the door and walked inside, telling herself to keep her emotions in check.

-x-

“We had fun, we hid, we got caught.”

“That's not what this was.”

“No, it wasn't,” she sighed sadly. “But it can't be anything else,” she said with a sad smile. Jill had resigned herself to this, but now, sat opposite him, knowing that the hurt she could see in his eyes mirrored her own, she wanted nothing more than to take her words back. But she knew that this was the way it had to be, there was little else that could be done.

“Jill...”

She stood up, and pressed a kiss to his temple, before she walked out of the bar. The door closed behind her and she held her breath for a few moments. She wasn't one for fanciful, romantic notions but a small part of her had desperately hoped that he would have chased after her. She replayed their final conversation, she knew he'd tried to put up a fight, but she'd shut him down, several times, but she hadn't thought he'd just let her leave with resigned acceptance. Jill turned and blinked back tears as she headed back to her apartment.

Despite the urge to, Roger didn't get up and chase after her. Though he felt that there was a way they could have moved forward, he respected her decision. It wasn't going to make him happy, but Jill had been adamant that neither one was giving up their job. He could understand that, they'd both worked hard to attain their positions. They were their jobs, but it wasn't all that they were. They were more than machines that did their jobs, they were actual humans with hearts and minds that shouldn't be dictated to. Who they were as a couple had never got in the way of them doing their jobs. Even if it had come close a few times. After a few more minutes reflection, he stood up and walked out of the bar.

He paused on the corner of the street, unsure of where to go. He knew that if he went home now – or even went back to the bar – he'd drown his sorrows completely. That had been his method of solace after the divorce, after Renee had moved away with the girls. Though that had been more about his failure to make his marriage work, more than anything else.

Roger looked down the street and noticed the courthouse in the distance. His thoughts turned back to the events of the day, about what Delap had said. For the first time he had actually felt sickened by his job. He knew that they had to toe the line, not piss off Washington, but that was no excuse to let private companies get away with intimidating citizens into not voting, as was their right. His resolve stiffened. He knew what he had to do. He walked back towards his office, if he had to give his all to his job, instead of the woman he loved then he was damn well going to do it properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for the next chapter, but I promise it will all be worth it in the end. As my reasoning will explain in the next chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought. Even if its to yell at me for not making it one long heartbreaking chapter. Though maybe not yell exactly.


	25. 24b: ...Never A Clean Break.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we see how both cope with the 'break up'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second half of the previous chapter, and this is very much as heartbreaking as it gets for these two. So things look dim now, but there's always light in the darkness. And the smoky embers of a flame that once burned bright can still be rekindled. Anyway, I hope you like (even though it will probably hurt like hell, it did when I wrote it, but then I am a sensitive soul) what's to come.
> 
> The chapter once again comes from 'Breathe' by Taylor Swift ft Colbie Caillat, and is the second half of the lyric that was the title of the previous chapter.
> 
> Some additional songs that fit the mood of this chapter (and I may have been listening to while writing) are:
> 
> 'Someone You Loved' by Lewis Capaldi  
> 'Dear Darlin' by Olly Murs  
> 'I Almost Do' by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Chapter picks up practically where the last chapter left off and goes up to the verdict being read out in the courtroom.

Jill had held it in for days. Held it in during her conversations with Byrne and Tina kept it in check while she'd ended things with Roger. But the minute she closed her apartment door behind her, the dam broke. She put her bag on the floor and hung up her coat, before she walked further into her apartment. She sank onto the couch as the tears continued to fall. She wiped them away with the sleeve of her blazer, but still they fell. She shook her head. This wasn't her. She didn't fall to pieces at the failure of a relationship. When Andrew Fielding had dumped her the night before senior prom for Daisy Milner, she'd gotten even by taking a baseball bat to the wing mirror of his pick-up truck (it wasn't her finest moment and she'd had to pay for the repairs, not to mention spent the entire summer grounded, but it had been worth it). When her marriage had gone up in flames, she'd gotten drunk on tequila and had thrown darts at their wedding photo. It now occurred to her that some of her coping methods weren't exactly healthy but they'd helped at the time and had provided a cathartic release.

This time though, there was no sense of burning injustice, no feeling of being unduly hurt or treated unfairly, just a deep sense of loss and what felt like a gaping wound in the middle of her chest. She took a shuddering breath and held her hands against her eyes trying to stem the flow of tears. Tonight she'd cry and grieve what could have been, but tomorrow, she'd throw herself into work. It had always provided her with the distraction needed.

-x-

The light wind whipped strands of her hair around her face as she sat on one of the chairs on her rooftop. Jill had tried and failed to get some sleep, so she'd figured that some air would do her good. Not to mention that memories had done nothing but assault her when she closed her eyes. She sighed as she pulled her knees against her chest, and rested her head against her knees. It was strange, she felt adrift, even a little lost without him there, and she hated herself a little for feeling like that.

She could survive on her own quite happily, had done it for the majority of her adult life and liked it. But something about Roger had changed that. She'd had someone to turn to when things got hard, who'd let her cry on his shoulder when cases had gone wrong. Never giving her his own opinion on the cases. Of course it had gone both ways. There had been nights when she'd sat beside him when he couldn't sleep, helped him find a way forward through some of his cases. She remembered when he'd called her in the middle of the night when he'd been having trouble with one of his cases. They'd walked the streets of New York talking about whatever random topic had come to mind, before they had ended up at their diner where Roger had had a small breakthrough and had made a series of notes on his phone. The way he'd thanked her the following day after he'd won his case, could still send tingles down her spine and kept her plenty warm on cold and lonely nights.

She stared at her phone, and thought about calling him, however, after earlier, she doubted that he would even want to hear from her. Jill chuckled bitterly. For several years – even if they'd never said it out loud – they had been each other's best friend. That had turned into them being confidantes and lovers. Now it had all gone. And Jill had no doubt that it would leave nothing but hollowness and a bitter shadow of the relationship that they had once shared.

* * *

Roger walked back into his office, closing the door behind him. For the past hour he'd redistributed the various cases that Kate and Leonard had been working on so that they could devote all of their time to this case. He needed a small break before he went back to helping them pull everything together. Not that they needed much help, both had come a long way from the inexperienced lawyers that had first walked into the offices. Even Seth wasn't coming by his office every other day with inane questions.

It had been a long time since he'd last pulled an all night session in the office. Well, not that long, but it felt like a long time to him. It had been in the early days of his and Jill's relationship, back when things had still been new. He had gotten slammed with a messy drugs case, and had been working through the night to make sure that everything was watertight ready for the trial. Around midnight Jill had shown up with pizza and beer, suggesting he take a break. Though initially reluctant, he had given in – she had some extreme methods of persuasion – and had found that the break had helped. Not only had it helped refocus his mind, but they'd been able to take advantage of the fact that they were the only people on the 20th floor and hadn't had to hide anything about their relationship. He hadn't been able to look at some of his office furniture in the same way since.

Roger shook his head, that was not a helpful line of thought. Especially since it was highly unlikely that he'd ever be able to have that type of close relationship with her again. Their friendship which had easily become more no longer existed. Easy smiles and laughter would become forced, maybe even a little stilted. He had no doubt that things would quite possibly go back to how they had been in the early years of their professional relationship, cordial with little to no sentiment attached to any of their dealings. All of which now, would be tinged with regret. The memories would become bittersweet as they always did when one lost a friend. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and thought about calling her. Jill had never been one to wear her heart on her sleeve, but he knew she wasn't as unaffected as she had tried to appear back in the bar.

“What?” he asked as Kate knocked on the door and opened it slightly as she peered into the room.

“I just thought you would like to know that Leonard and I have got everything set up in the conference room,” she replied. She frowned a little as she took in his expression. “Is...everything alright?” she asked hesitantly.

“Why wouldn't it be?” he snapped. “So, show me what you two have put together,” he added indicating that they head towards the conference room. He put his phone back into his pocket and pushed down the urge to call Jill. He doubted she'd even take his call anyway.

-x-

The noise of the city faded into background noise as Roger stood outside the office building, looking around Foley Square. Though he felt tired – he had been up for practically a whole day – Roger had no desire to get some rest. He'd gone home to shower and change, but that had been all. For most of the night he had helped Leonard and Kate to create the basis of the prosecution's argument ready for opening statements in a couple of days. Thankfully, of the groundwork had already been laid before Delap had told them to kill the case, so it was really just a case of tidying it up and tightening up the charges.

It had kept his mind occupied enough to stop him from focusing too much on the break up. At this moment though, his mind was doing nothing but think of her. He wondered how she was holding up, he'd noticed that she'd been holding herself tightly while they'd spoken last night. That it had hurt her as much as it had hurt him. His eyes scanned the crowd of people scurrying across the square and his eyes fell upon her familiar figure as she walked towards her own office building. He felt his heart constrict and wanted nothing more than to go and speak to her, but knew that he couldn't. With a last look at retreating figure, he turned around and walked back inside.

As soon as the elevator doors opened on the 20th floor, he was met by the one of the office's investigator's. “Here's that list of witnesses you asked for.”

Roger nodded at the man, before he took the list off of him and walked towards the conference room.

* * *

Work had ended up not being the distraction that Jill had hoped it would be. Though she'd been able to get plea deals arranged, and various motions passed, she still kept thinking about recent events. Sleep had become a rarity, she'd found herself sitting up on her rooftop, just to get away from the four walls of her apartment or office. She looked over at Sandra's office and noticed the young lawyer scribbling away at something on a notepad. She sighed deeply, that was another loose end that needed to be tied up. She'd thought long and hard about what she should say to her and knew that she couldn't put that conversation off any longer. She put the files to one side, and stood up pulling her cardigan tighter around her, before she walked towards Sandra's office. Hopefully that would be a professional relationship that could go back to normal.

-x-x-x-x-

Roger walked up the steps of the courthouse ready to hear the verdict in the Spiller case. He had to admit it had been weird to watch proceedings from the public side and not as an active participant or providing assistance. He couldn't exactly recall, but he thought that the last time he had done that had been back in his law school days. He walked along the corridor towards the courtroom and froze as he caught sight of Jill coming from the other direction. It was the first time that they'd actually seen each other, properly, since that night in the bar.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” she said with a tight smile. It felt every bit as awkward as they'd thought it would be. Both could see that the other clearly hadn't been sleeping all that well recently. There was a fair bit that she wanted to say to him, but she found the words wouldn't come. It was as though they'd both forgotten how to act around each other.

“You going in?” Roger asked after a few moments of awkward silence as he indicated the courtroom doors.

“Of course,” she nodded. “I'm here for Jay,” she looked down at her feet, avoiding his gaze. She'd always found him easy to read, and she didn't need to see the hurt there, especially as she knew that it was her fault it was there in the first place. “So, how...”

“Are you two just going to loiter around in the hall all day?”

Both turned to see that Tina had come up beside them. Jill gave her a small smile before she turned and walked into the courtroom. Tina turned back to look at Roger who looked completely defeated.

“It will get easier soon.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Roger sighed before he followed the path that Jill had taken, ready to hear the verdict. He just hoped that all the work they'd done hadn't gone to waste. Something good had to have come out of the mess that had been this past week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the heartbreak. Like I said this is the absolute worst it gets for them.
> 
> Let me know what you thought...and I hope you don't hate me too much for the angsty stuff, but it had to be done. I'm a firm believer in making characters work for the happy ending.
> 
> Hope you're all still keeping well.


	26. This Is The Way It Should Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roger quits his job and reunites with Jill. While everyone else finally finds out about them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, lets have a look at their reunion shall we? I'm biased but I rather love one of Sandra's lines later on in this chapter. 
> 
> The previous three chapters were a little bit angsty, but from here on out it's back to business as usual with the fluffier side of their relationship.
> 
> This chapter covers from Roger finding the chair in his office, right up to them talking in her office. Some - probably - creative license has been used in this chapter, as it requires the scene of Jill and Roger in her office to take place at the same time that the Public Defenders are celebrating on the roof, and those in the Criminal Division learning about Kate's promotion. Also, this contains some dialogue from 2x10.
> 
> Unusually for me (titles are hard), I had several different potential chapter titles for this chapter. All from some of my favourite songs. But in the end I went with the above that comes from the song 'This Never Happened Before' by Paul McCartney, specifically the line: 'I love you and now I see/This is the way it should be'. It seemed rather appropriate.
> 
> The other song contenders that potential chapter titles came from were:  
> 'How You Get The Girl' by Taylor Swift  
> 'Right Place, Right Time' by Olly Murs  
> 'I'm Yours' as performed by Jane Levy in Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist.  
> 'The Words' by Christina Perri
> 
> I recommend all of these songs, and enjoy this chapter.

Roger walked back onto his office feeling happier than he had in days. The hard work that Kate and Leonard had put into this whole case and trial had been rewarded. Spiller had been prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and Roger was fairly certain that other people like him would think twice before carrying out voter suppression in New York ever again. It felt good to know that not everything was screwed that. That no matter what, some things were clear cut and simple. He pushed open his office door, hoping for several hours peace, so he could try and figure out how to be somewhat normal around Jill before their next case against each other. However, he paused in the doorway as he noticed the chair that was currently sat in the middle of his office. Roger felt his heart sink as he recalled Delap's words from earlier. He knew what that chair meant. He thought he'd feel happier at the prospect of getting this job, but it just seemed hollow and empty. He hung his coat up on the coat rack before he headed up to Delap's office.

He listened as Delap explained what the fallout from this case had been in Washington. How no one there had liked it and how they had wanted someone to pay.

“Then someone will,” Roger commented.

“I have thirty days.”

“No, not you,” he replied, feeling a sense of calm sweep over him. He knew that the words he were about to say felt incredibly right. “Me. I'll go.”

“Don't be stupid Roger, you can't make a sudden decision like that.”

“I can, and I just did."

“Are you sure about this?” Delap asked. “Once I make that call, I can't take it back.”

“I'm sure,” he nodded.

“Very well,” Delap sighed. “Do you have any idea as to who will be your replacement?”

“I think Kate Littlejohn would cope admirably.”

“She certainly has the right temperament.”

-x-

Roger walked out of the office feeling completely calm. Despite having worked hard to achieve the position of Chief of the Criminal Division, he was completely glad to be jobless. Though he knew it wouldn't stay that way for long, he'd had several offers over the years but had turned them down. But for now, that was on the back burner, he had a more pressing matter to attend to. He checked his watch and hoped that Jill would still be in her office. If not, he would go straight to her apartment and wait for her. He crossed the road, his heart pounding with every step. Though he hoped that things would go the way he wanted them too, he was still nervous. Regardless of the outcome, this would certainly change things. Once his feelings were out in the open there would be no going back.

* * *

Jill stared at the wall, hardly blinking. She was enjoying the silence in the office, all her public defenders were up on the roof celebrating. She'd been asked to join them, but she'd preferred to be alone with her thoughts. Jill thought she'd prepared herself for seeing him again, but today had proved that to be wrong. Nothing could have prepared her for how hard it had been to stand in that courtroom after the verdict had been read out. To see them all celebrating with no thought to the prosecution/defence line. She'd wanted to shake Roger's hand but hadn't trusted herself. She'd caught his eye and had seen the lingering hurt and pain. Fairly certain that the same expression could be seen in her face too.

The first moment she could, she'd ducked out of the courtroom unable to bare being that close to him after several days. The wounds were still raw and she dreaded to think what would happen when they were next alone together. Jill had fallen hard for Roger, and though she hated to admit it, she had very little willpower around him. There was very little he couldn't persuade her to do; 'get lost' upstate and explore, ride the rollercoasters at Coney Island. Several times he had almost managed to convince her to blow off work when neither had any cases in progress. If he came to her and said that he'd figured out a way for them to see each other again, she'd agree in a heartbeat.

The sound of footsteps approaching her office, made her tense up and she turned around, ready to tell whoever it was to bugger off. However, the words died in her throat as she took him in, standing in her office, looking more like himself than he had earlier. Jill felt her lips go to form words, before her mouth dried. She took a deep breath and tried again.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you,” he replied, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Personal or professional.”

“Personal.”

“You shouldn't be here,” she said trying to ignore the way that her heart had skipped.

“They offered me acting US Attorney.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Washington didn't like the Spiller case. They want Delap out.”

“And what did you say?” she asked nerves settling in. Something told her that this was going to change things. She just didn't know if it was going to be a good or bad change.

Roger took a deep breath. “I said that I was honoured. That this was the job I've wanted my whole life. That I love this office and everything it represents,” he paused. “But I love the woman across the street even more.”

“Roger...” she railed off, not quite sure if she could believe what he was saying.

“I actually didn't say that last part,” he replied as he moved closer to her. “They would have thought that was weird.”

“Roger...”

“I quit, Jill. I quit.”

“You didn't?”

“I did,” he nodded, he could see the wheel's turning in her head. “And I know you're thinking I didn't want you to quit your job, I don't want that responsibility. I know you're thinking this,” he added with a smile. “But its not your responsibility. Its mine. And I don't care if this all falls apart tomorrow, I really don't. We are here, now,” he sighed. “And I want five minutes with you, more than I want that chair.”

Jill stared at him dumbfounded, unable to believe quite what she was hearing. There were a great many things running through her mind, yet the only thing that came to mind was confusion. “What chair?”

Rather than respond, Roger merely moved even closer to the couch, so he was practically stood in front of her. He'd had enough of questions for the moment, there was only one thing he wanted to do. “Can you kiss me please?”

Jill gave him a small smile and stood up. She closed the distance between them and kissed him lightly, hooking her arms around his neck as it deepened. Much like their first kiss all those months ago, a feeling of everything righting itself washed over with them. They pulled back slightly and gazed softly at each other, before they leaned back in and their lips met once more. This time when it deepened, her hands moved into his hair, while his arms wrapped around her as they both tried to get closer to each other. Several days apart had proved to be a great wrench. But now though, things were better and Jill was hopeful that things would be like they were before. Thought she imagined that a few things would be a little differently especially since they'd now be able to be open with their relationship. She pulled back and gazed up at him. She moved a hand from his hair and grabbed his tie pulling him back towards the couch.

“Your couch? Really?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No, to talk,” she replied pushing him back onto the couch. She knew exactly where his line of thought had gone, but there would be time for that later.

* * *

Sandra walked into the darkened offices, she needed to get her bag before she went to Tiny's. She also needed to wrap her head around everything that had just happened with Ted. She'd known for a while that something was there between them and it had been her talk with Jill the other day that had given her the motivation to go for it with Ted. Though she had no plans to flaunt their relationship, she was still going to tread carefully. She'd seen the underlying sadness in her boss's tone, had seen how Jill – and Roger – had acted in the courtroom earlier and knew that it hadn't been a fling that had come to an end. As she walked further into the office, she noticed the low light coming from Jill's office and wondered if she should invite her to come to the bar with the rest of them. However, she frowned when she noticed that Jill wasn't alone in the office. She could tell from the profile exactly who it was that she was in a close embrace with. Sandra shook her head, she couldn't believe she'd fallen for the evident lies about how things had ended between them. She grabbed her bag and as she reached the door, she noticed Allison, Ted and Jay grouped together, looking shocked.

“What's going on?” she asked, she'd assumed Allison and Jay had already gone on to the bar.

Jay turned his phone to her so that she could see the message that Seth had sent him. “Roger's resigned.”

“Seriously?”

“Seth says its because Washington wanted someone to take the fall for the trial.”

Sandra smiled slightly. “I, uh, don't think it was just that.”

Ted smirked in realisation while Allison and Jay looked at her questioningly.

-x-

“I thought we were heading back to yours,” Jill commented when they broke apart from yet another kiss.

“Well I…” he tailed off, causing Jill to look at him curiously. “We seem to have acquired an audience.”

Jill turned to see four identical grins watching her from the bullpen. “Don't you have homes to go to?” she asked as she stepped away from Roger and left her office prepared for an onslaught of questions. She stared at them waiting to hear what they would ask. “Well?” she asked as she felt Roger come up behind her, a little reassured by his hand on her lower back. She could also tell by Jay's face he was about to let loose a stream of consciousness.

“For how long?” Allison asked.

“About six, seven months,” she replied, glancing at Roger who nodded in confirmation.

“So that's why you were weirdly happy back in the spring?”

“It wasn't that weird was it?”

“Yes,” Jay replied automatically, earning an elbow in the ribs from Ted. “I mean no.”

“Is it serious?”

“Okay, I think that's enough questions,” Jill replied, she could sense what a potential follow up question from Allison would be and it wasn't a topic to be discussed by anyone but her and Roger. “Aren't you all supposed to be celebrating?”

“Yes we are,” Ted nodded in reply. “Come on, lets give them some privacy.”

Jill watched as Sandra loitered behind, toying with the strap of her bag. She braced herself wondering what she was going to say. Especially since she hadn't held back the other night.

“You be good to her,” Sandra said fixing Roger with a steely glare. “Jill is the best thing that will _ever_ happen to you and if you mess it up, well, I box to clear my mind,” she added, the warning and challenge clear. “I still don't like you. That will not change.”

Roger stared at the public defender in shock as he watched her walk out of the office. Of all the things that he expected to happen, that hadn't even crossed his mind. Jill shook her head and rested her chin on his shoulder. “Its not funny,” he commented feeling her shake against him.

“Its a little funny,” she chuckled.

“I don't care what she thinks,” he said. “I only care what you think.”

“Its a good thing I love you then isn't it?”

“You do?” he asked turning to face her, looking like a child on Christmas morning.

“Of course I do,” she laughed. “Don't tell me you came all the way here to tell me that you quit your job because you love me and thought I wouldn't reciprocate?”

“It might have crossed my mind. Once.”

“Roger Gunn, what am I going to do with you?”

“I have a few ideas,” he smirked as he leaned in and kissed her deeply, leaving her breathless as he dipped her backwards in the process.

* * *

Seth lagged behind the other two as they walked towards the bar. After some light teasing about the fact that Kate was their new boss, Kate had offered to buy them a round of drinks.

“Dude, keep up or we'll leave you behind,” Leonard called as he and Kate turned to wait for him to catch up with them.

“Sorry, I was texting Jay. He said he's got big news.”

“How'd he take Kate's promotion?”

“Haven't told him yet,” Seth shrugged. “I was going to tell him, but he mentioned he had big news.”

“Did he give you a hint?” Kate asked, it was rare the public defenders office knew big news before them.

“No, but it was in relation to...” he tailed off as he noticed two people walking on the other side of the street. “Is that...” he tailed off again as he saw the man lean in and kiss the woman. Kate and Leonard turned to follow his eyeline and noticed who he had caught sight of. They watched as the couple pulled away from each other and she tucked herself against the man's side. “Since when has Roger been dating Jill? Do you think that's what Jay wanted to tell me?”

“Maybe,” Kate replied. “It certainly makes sense,” she added as a few puzzle pieces slotted themselves together. It more than answered a few questions that had been raised in recent months.

“You think that's why he really quit?”

“No,” Leonard scoffed. “It might have been part of a reason, but I don't think it was the main reason,” he added. “Come on, we've got better things to do than speculate about our former boss...”

“Still our boss for the next thirty days,” Kate interrupted.

“Whatever, I've got better things to do than wonder about his relationship.”

“They're just so different though,” Seth commented as they resumed walking. “I mean she's nice, and actually likes those that work for her.”

“And yet it works, the two of them are also very similar,” Kate replied. “Can we stop talking about this now?”

“But...”

“Let it go Seth.”

* * *

They practically stumbled through the front door to his apartment, neither willing to let go of the other. It had been so long (no more than a week, but still felt like an age) that they'd been without each other, that they didn't want to stop touching.

“I've missed having you here,” Roger said as he removed her coat and kissing the spot behind her ear.

“I've missed _you_ ,” she replied turning to face him, her arms automatically going around his neck.

“So have I,” he commented. “I don't want to go that long without speaking to you ever again.”

Jill gave him a soft smile, before she leaned in and kissed him lightly. “I love you.”

Roger smiled back, he didn't think he'd ever get tired of hearing her say that to him. “I love you too.”

Both leaned in at the same time, letting their lips meet in the middle. It deepened almost instantly and Jill found herself pushed up against the wall, as she tightened her hold on him. She giggled against his lips as he lifted her up slightly. It was a move he only pulled out occasionally, but she loved it all the same. He pulled back slightly to look at her, and had no doubt that his eyes were just as darkened with lust as hers were. She gave him a flirtatious smile before she leaned in and kissed him again as he carried her towards the bedroom.

There was still a fair bit that they needed to talk about, but there would be time for that later. Right now though, both were planning on making up for lost time and revelling in the feeling of being together once again, a whole future ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's just one (not so) little chapter left to go, and its a good'un. And my second favourite chapter in this whole piece of writing, inspired by what is currently one of my favourite songs for any of my ships.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you thought of it, I love hearing what you all think. 
> 
> And wherever you all are I really hope that you're all keeping safe.


	27. Alls Well That Ends Well, To End Up With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months later, lets see how life is for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this really is the end of this little story of mine. Thank you so much for all the love that you have shown this over the past six months, it really has meant a lot. And I hope you like what's about to happen. I also pick up a plot strand I left dangling a few chapters back.
> 
> This was inspired by one song but I feel like revealing the song and the specific part might just ruin what's about to come. But I'll reveal the inspiration at the end of the chapter.
> 
> Takes place about six months after the previous chapter. But it may as well be an alternate 2020 as there is no mention of current events. And it also features one of my own personal headcanons for them.

Compared to other mornings, Saturdays were calm. There was no need to rush about getting ready for work after grabbing an extra twenty minutes in bed. Instead they were able to wake up naturally and do things at their own pace. This Saturday was no exception. They'd woken up late after spending the night at a charity gala that the DA had been hosting which hadn't been the grim prospect that they'd thought it would be.

Currently, Jill was sat at the kitchen island-slash-table, researching the inn in the Adirondacks that they'd won a four night stay at, in the prize draw the previous night, while Roger had gone down to get the mail. Jill looked at the page, reading the information as an idea occurred to her. In the six months that they'd been living together, there had been several nights when they'd laid awake and done nothing but talk, sharing practically everything with each other. Jill was fairly certain that she'd shared more with him than she'd ever shared with her anyone else. Certainly more than she'd ever told her ex-husband. She bit her lip as she studied the page. It was something she'd been thinking about a lot recently and winning this weekend away had helped her make up her mind.

“You've got a postcard from Tori,” Roger said as he walked into the kitchen, setting the mail down, as he helped himself to coffee. Jill turned the iPad off and picked up the postcard.

Several months after Roger had asked the investigator to look into her sister, he'd gotten back to them. The investigator had been looking into a case involving a gang who had been running a counterfeit pharmaceutical ring. Tori had been caught up in it, due to an ill advised friendship with one of the ringleaders. The hope was that Tori would help bring them in and take the stand as part of the prosecution's case. Once they'd learnt that she was in a residential treatment centre in Rhode Island, Jill had flown up there almost immediately to see her. Jill had learnt that Tori had gotten mixed up with them, shortly after their last meeting. After eighteen months, she'd found a proper friend who'd helped her get the help she'd needed. Jill had initially been upset that she hadn't contacted her. But Tori had explained that at first, she was ashamed, and then she had wanted to get herself and her life in some sort of order, if only to show that she didn't always need her help, or worry. It had been an emotional reunion for the two sisters. Afterwards, Jill had returned to the hotel where Roger was waiting for her and spent a good portion of the night, crying on his shoulder.

“How does she sound?” he asked as he sat opposite her.

“Good,” Jill replied. “Great, even, she's enjoying France and she's even added a little postscript to say that she's taken her medication and has the right amount to last the entire length of the trip across Europe and Asia, because she knows I'll worry.”

“And yet you don't seem happy about it.”

Jill sighed, she hated how well he could read her. “No, I am happy, truly, and I trust Caroline implicitly, trust that she'll keep an eye on her, but, its just, I've finally got my sister back, and she goes off travelling.”

“She'll be back before you know it,” Roger commented, before he resumed looking through the mail. Jill gave him a smile, before she switched her iPad back on, and carried on researching the inn near Friends Lake. She looked at all the particulars and worked out a few prices in her head. “Have you decided when we should go?” Roger asked as he picked up the gift voucher.

“Well, if there's any availability, I was thinking we could go over the holiday weekend that's coming up. We could go up on the Friday afternoon, then come back on the Monday,” Jill replied. She took a deep breath before she continued. “Of course, they will have to have an extra room free that weekend too.”

“Why?” he frowned looking over at her. He was very unsure as to why she would want two rooms. It wasn't as though they didn't live together or share a bed.

“Because I was thinking we could elope and I'm sure you'd want your daughters to be there,” she replied nonchalantly as she took a sip of her coffee, her eyes not straying from the page she was reading.

“Elope?” he asked. “As in the two of us, running off and getting married at this inn?”

“Yes.”

“But I thought…” he tailed off. Roger would be lying if he said he wasn't shocked by her statement. Despite having brought a ring – still hidden where he hoped she wouldn't find it – and wanting them to eventually get married, he hadn't assumed she'd be the one to bring up the topic. Let alone suggest elopement.

“I know,” she smiled. “I know what I said, but I've been thinking recently, about you, me, this whole life we've built together, and you know, maybe it is something I'm interested in.”

“Are you sure?”

Jill nodded and stood up, walking over to him. She leaned down and kissed him softly, letting him pull her onto his lap. “Of course I'm sure,” she said with a soft smile. “I love you, more than I ever thought I would love someone. You are it for me. I'm not saying that we were fated or destined to be together,” she said shaking her head. “But the more I think about it, the more I see us growing old together, your daughters eventually bringing their own children to visit, maybe mov...”

“My daughters will not have families of their own. I won't be known as 'grandpa',” he interrupted causing her to roll her eyes at him. “So, you really want to do this?”

“I do,” she nodded. “Honestly, it would be perfect. Me, you, the girls as witnesses. It's all it needs to be,” she added. “And the last time, the whole big wedding was not fun. Or really me.”

“There's one thing wrong with that idea though.”

“What?”

Roger indicated that she should stand up so he could move. Jill frowned as she watched him walk out of the kitchen. He returned a few minutes later, fiddling with something in his hands. He set a black velvet box on the table, smiling as her eyes widened. “You weren't even going to let me propose before you talk elopement?”

Jill looked between him and the box, before she shook her head. “No,” she leaned in and kissed him. “You can do it if you want to, but I'll be keeping it between us if you do,” she paused, noticing his confused reaction. “The last time, everyone had an opinion on everything, so much so, that I just wanted to go down to city hall and do it quickly,” she sighed. “I suggested it and was told that it wasn't 'what was expected of us'. In hindsight, maybe that should have been a red flag,” she commented with a bitter smile. It softened as Roger reached over and took her hand. “I know that's not likely to happen this time, but I would actually like to make the ten year milestone this time 'round.”

Roger nodded in understanding. In their many talks, Jill had spoken about her marriage and how the life she thought she wanted had been all planned out for her.

“You don't mind do you?” she asked, “that I want to keep this all secret until we've done it?”

“I just want you to be happy,” he replied. “And if you want to keep this just between us, then I really don't mind. Besides, I quite like the idea of eloping,” he added before he leaned in and kissed her lightly. He picked up the ring box, and started to open it. However, Jill reached out and closed it.

“Don't do it now,” she said. “If you do it now, I'll wear the ring...”

“That's kinda the whole point.”

“My point is,” she continued, “I never want to take it off, which means I'll be wearing it all the time, and then this stops being secret, which somewhat negates the whole secret wedding thing.”

“Okay,” he smiled, pocketing the ring box. “But I will propose before we go.”

“I'll say yes,” she replied as she picked up the iPad and got up the contact page. “So, shall we see if its available?”

* * *

Jill walked down the street, feeling as though weight had been lifted from her shoulders. All week she'd been worried about the arraignment hearing, but things had gone well, and her client had been released on their own recognizance, scheduled to appear in court a week Monday for the trial. She was glad of it as it meant she didn't have to worry about work all weekend which was ideal. Thanks to some creative editing on her work calendar, the office assumed that she was in and out of meetings all afternoon, unable to be reached. Jill didn't like to lie to them, but she went to great lengths to keep her personal life out of the office. Even though there was nothing to hide anymore, she preferred things to be separate. Plus she felt it rather defeated the purpose of a secret wedding if everyone knew that she was getting married the next day. She was sure that Tina knew something was up, as she'd caught the woman looking at her curiously, but she hadn't said anything, so Jill had dismissed it. Jill was still surprised that they'd been able to get their marriage license without anyone catching on. She let herself into the building and hurried up to the apartment.

“How'd it go?” Roger asked as soon as she walked through the door.

“Great,” Jill smiled. “And, now I'm all yours for the weekend.”

“Hmm, lucky me,” he commented as he leaned in and kissed her. After a few seconds, he pulled back. He took her hand and led her into the living room. She looked around and frowned as he indicated that she sit down, wondering what he was up to. They were leaving in a couple of hours, and she wanted to do a last minute check that she'd packed everything before they left.

“What are you...”

“There's something I need to do before we leave,” Roger commented cutting her off, as he pulled out a familiar box. “Jill, I love you, more than I could ever say, you make me happier than I ever thought possible. And if you'll let me, I intend to spend the rest of my life making you feel the same way,” he said as he got down on one knee and opened the box to reveal a square cut diamond, with detailed diamond shoulders, set on a white gold band. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she replied, as she held out her left hand, so he could slide the ring onto her finger. She wasn't surprised that it was a perfect fit, she knew that he'd have left nothing to chance. She also had no doubt that it would go perfectly with the wedding rings that they'd picked out the other week. Jill leaned in and kissed him deeply. She smiled into the kiss as his hands slid into her hair. She pulled back and smiled softly. She didn't know if it was the man in front of her, or the fact that she had no doubts this time around, but, in this moment, she felt completely happy.

* * *

The room was luxurious. When they'd first arrived at the inn yesterday, neither could believe the sheer expanse of the room. It had a fireplace, large four poster bed, not to mention the private screened porch. Maggie and Sophie had a standard guest room on the second floor, which had the same amenities – minus the porch and large bed. After they'd been shown their rooms, the girls had gone off to explore the area while Jill and Roger had dealt with a few last minute details in regards to the wedding.

Jill looked at her reflection in the mirror and soothed down the skirt of her dress. She'd been extremely reluctant to wear any shade of white for her second wedding. However, when she'd been shopping for something to wear, she'd found herself to drawn to this silk and lace dress and had ended up buying it. She turned her attention away from her reflection as a knock on the door sounded. She walked over to it and opened it to see Sophie stood there, smiling widely.

“I thought you were with your dad,” she said as she stepped aside so that she could come into the room.

“I was,” she smiled, “but Maggie and I wanted to make sure you got your presents before the wedding. She's currently making sure that dad doesn't wear a hole in the floor,” she added as sat in one of the armchairs and fiddled with her phone. Jill smiled, she knew what Roger could be like when he was nervous. “This is the first present,” Sophie said as she held out a small blue box.

Jill accepted the box and opened it to reveal a gold chain with an oval locket for a pendant. She opened the locket to reveal a picture of her, with the two of them, that had been taken when they'd visited before Christmas on one side, with the inscription _'welcome to the family'_ and the date on the opposite side. She looked at her and gave her a watery smile. She knew that the girls liked her and they approved of her relationship with their dad, but this meant more to her then she could ever say. Sophie stood up and hugged her tightly, before she helped her to put it on, the locket coming to rest just at the middle of the v-shaped neckline of the dress. As Jill turned her to look at her reflection once again, Sophie picked up her phone and pressed a few buttons. “This is the second present. Its from dad,” she said as she held out the phone. Jill turned back and frowned at the blank screen, before it lit up with a familiar face.

“Tori?”

“Hey sis,” she smiled. “Didn't think I'd let being on another continent stop me from being at your wedding did you?”

“But how did you…”

“That future husband of yours,” Tori replied, green eyes sparkling. “You've got a good one there Jill,” she added. “Much better than idiot you used to be married to.”

“I think we can both agree on that.”

“Dad wanted you to have her here somehow,” Sophie explained. “So, I'll be holding this up during the ceremony,” she added a little redundantly. “And we should probably head out there, before dad ruins the decking with his nervous pacing.”

* * *

As usual, Allison was running late for the Sunday brunch. It had become a tradition in recent months. Every Sunday, they'd meet up for brunch at Seth and Jay's. The only rule was no shop talk. She pushed the button for the elevator and pulled out her phone as the doors opened. As they closed behind her, she pressed the button for their floor and got her Instagram feed up. She refreshed the page and noticed a new post from Maggie Gunn. Allison had made friends with her at Tina's Christmas party and they'd bonded over a shared love of photography. Her eyes widened as she looked at the post. The doors opened and she strode down the hallway, knocking firmly on the door.

"Hey Al,” Jay smiled as he opened the front door. “Everyone's already here.”

“Good,” she replied as she shrugged off he jacket. “Cos I've got something they'll want to see.”

“What is it?” Leonard asked as he held out a glass of orange juice for her.

Allison set the phone down on the table, so they could all see the post. The caption read: ' _So yesterday, dad and Jill eloped. Been so hard keeping it secret from everyone. #loveisreal'_

The picture showed the couple on some pine decking overlooking the Adirondacks underneath an ivy and rose covered archway. Jill was wearing a knee length off-white dress, with a lace overlay, while Roger wore a light grey suit, with a white shirt and no tie. The picture had been taken during their first kiss as husband and wife, her left arm was slung around his neck as he dipped her slightly, showing off both an engagement and wedding ring. A similar band, glinted on the hand Roger had on her waist.

Allison looked up to see identical faces of shock and amazement.

“They eloped?” Jay commented. “I didn't even know they were engaged.”

“No one did,” Sandra added. “I don't think we even suspected did we?”

“No,” Allison said shaking her head. “She hasn't worn a ring in the office, and when I asked her if she had any plans for the weekend, she said they were staying in the city.”

“Its sort of romantic when you think about it,” Seth commented. “Makes it just about the two of them, nothing else. Its how I'd do it.”

“That would require you to actually find someone,” Leonard commented earning a swift jab from Kate.

“Maybe I have,” he replied, blushing as he avoided looking at them.

“Should we club together, get them something?” Kate asked, she knew what Seth wasn't saying, knew that he and Jay didn't want it out in the open just yet. Seth gave her a grateful smile as talk turned to appropriate gifts.

* * *

It was the sound of a harsh buzz against wood that pulled Jill out of the realm of dreams. She knew she probably should've set it to 'do not disturb', but in all honesty, thinking hadn't been high on her list of priorities the previous night. She shifted slightly and untangled herself from Roger's arms, and sat up pulling the covers around her. She reached over and picked up her phone, her eyes widened in surprise as she noticed the number of notifications on the lock screen. She cleared the notifications before she unlocked her phone and began to make her way through the messages starting with Tina's:

_'You got married, and I had to hear about it from Jay Simmons who found out about it from your stepdaughter's Instagram?'_

Jill smirked as she read the message. She'd reply later, she then turned back to the other messages, scanning through all the congratulations and best wishes from her office, as well as the few messages that had come from the prosecutors and some of the court clerks.

“What's happened?” Roger asked as he sat up, noticing Jill going through her phone.

“Word's gotten out,” she replied with a smile. “Maggie posted about our elopement on Instagram. Its a nice picture actually,” she added as she showed him the screen capture that Tina had added to her message. Jill made a mental note to ask Maggie for a copy of the picture.

“At least that's one thing we don't have to do when we get back.”

“Providing Tina doesn't kill us for not telling her.”

“She wouldn't.”

“If you think that than you don't know Tina Krissman,” Jill chuckled as she set her phone to 'do not disturb' and set it back on the night stand.

“No one would dare mess with the Gunn's.” Roger commented as he lay back down, pulling her with him, so that she was laid on top of him.

“Who said I was taking your name?”

“You did. On the marriage license.”

“Pretty sure I hyphenated,” Jill laughed, “and just so we're clear. That hyphen only counts Outside. Of. Work,” she added punctuating each of the last three words with a tap on his chest.

“I know,” Roger smiled. He'd been a little surprised when she said she'd rather hyphenate rather than keep her name or change it outright. But he had to admit, he did rather like that she carried his name. “Okay,” he paused as he trailed his fingers across her spine. “She won't mess with the Carlan-Gunn's.”

“Are you hyphenating too?” she teased.

“Why did I marry you?”

“Because you love me.”

“Yes I do,” he smiled. She smiled back, before she leaned in and kissed him. Within a few seconds it had deepened and quickly turned passionate. She gave a throaty laugh as he flipped them over. Her laugh abruptly turned to a low moan as his lips moved from hers and began to head south. All in all, it was the perfect way to spend the first morning of the rest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they all lived happily ever after! I like to believe that if they were to ever to get married it would be an elopement. The only people that would know beforehand would be Roger's daughters.
> 
> The idea for this chapter was inspired by the song 'Lover' by Taylor Swift (which is also where the title of the chapter came from), specifically the bridge after the second chorus. I've always been a visual writer - its why I frequently use song lyrics as titles - I like to know how a scene looks in my head before writing, and I've always imagined a wedding, or something wedding related with the song, so I'm glad that I've finally found a way to use it. Plus I've listened to it many times while writing several chapters in this story.
> 
> There's the potential for a sequel that's really more of a 'where are they now?' for the characters set around 5 years in the future, but there's a few kinks to work out before its any shape to be read (if I ever upload it). And there maybe a few other things floating about. Including one that has nothing to it except a paper thin idea, the song that inspired it and how one of the verses is very much something I could have seen being a theme for For The People had it got a third season. And there are a few alternate versions of chapters from this story. Including a slightly alternative version of this chapter.
> 
> Thanks again for all of the love that you've shown this story, its meant so much. I can't even begin to say how much. 😘 ❤️
> 
> Stay safe. Stay well.


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